Hello.
I wanted to write here a bit about my Grandma Eva, who passed away on Aug. 29, 2018. I was blessed to be able to be with her in her last couple of days, even giving her a last hug and kiss as she headed to sleep the night she died. Those moments are some of the most precious of my entire life! I felt closer to heaven than I have ever before, and I'm so grateful I had that opportunity to say goodbye to her. I wrote about that time in my journal, and may post it here eventually. But for now, I wanted to post some of the information I compiled about her life in the days and weeks after she passed away. I was privileged to give her life sketch, and gathered a lot of the stories and details I'm share here, in preparation for that. Then afterward, I delved more into her family history, checking genealogy records, asking my dad for clarification on some things, and going through old notes from conversations I had with Eva years ago. I just think she was such a wonderful, sweet, amazing person, and wanted to share these details. I'm also adding this sweet picture of her, holding my youngest baby, Camille...
Eva Davella Frasure Hone Malm
March 13, 1923 – August 29, 2018
Life Sketch and Additional Details
Robert Frasure (April 3,
1890) and (Elsie) Bell Bentley (Apr 25, 1892) – she preferred to go by Bell
(some records show Belle) – met and married on April 16, 1908 in Grethel,
Kentucky, when Bell was 16 and Robert was 18. They lived in neighboring
communities – McDowell and Grethel, and met at a church function; both families
belonged to the First Baptist faith. In 1915, Robert had a relative, who had
moved west to Idaho, to farm large tracts of land. He convinced Robert that
there was a good life to be had in the west, so Robert and Bell said goodbye to
their beloved Kentucky home and family, and moved to Idaho to try their hand at
farming there. Their first home was in an area called Taber, Idaho, about 20
miles west of Blackfoot, Idaho. At the time they moved there, they had a
daughter, Birdie, who had passed away at age 2 in Kentucky (Jan 23, 1910-Mar
11, 1912). And they brought with them two young daughters, Mina Francis (July
20, 1911) and Oma (Dec 25, 1913). The ground they purchased for farming was
full of sagebrush and some lava rock. It was dry and hard and didn’t receive
enough rain. Irrigation was a new concept to the area, and hadn’t expanded out
to the Taber area. It was very tough to have a reliable crop without consistent
water supply. After a few years of trying, Robert and Bell decided to move in
closer to the Blackfoot area, where they could more easily get water in canals
from the Snake River.
I’m not sure of all the
details regarding their babies, but I know they had a son and daughter in Idaho,
who both died as small children. Anthony (Mar 24, 1916- Nov 5, 1918) died at
age 21/2, during the Spanish flu epidemic, while they were living in Taber. When
Anthony died, the ground was so frozen they had to put his little body in the
cellar until spring, when the ground thawed and they could properly bury him.
(Eva said this was something her mother told her.) Polly May (Jan 23, 1920 –
May 5, 1920) died of pneumonia and was only 41/2 months old. Such a heartache
for their family, to lose these precious little ones! In between Anthony and
Polly May, Hazel Margaret (Apr 3, 1918) was born. Their mother, Bell, got very
sick and was on bedrest when Hazel was a baby. Mina was only seven, but she
took care of Oma and the baby, and cooked the family meals as best she could
until her mother was well again. And then Edna Veda was born (March 12, 1921),
and then came Eva, whose story this is…
On March 13, 1923, Eva
Davella Frasure was born in Blackfoot, Idaho. She was the eighth child born to
Robert and (Elsie) Bell Frasure. Before Eva was born, her parents had lost
three young children due to illness. They were extremely grateful to have five
healthy girls! Her oldest sister, Mina, had the privilege of choosing her first
name – Eva, which Mina said was such a beautiful name, and all the sisters
agreed. (Eva said she didn’t always love her name when she was younger, but she
got to where she liked it quite well after awhile.) When Eva was two years old,
a baby brother, Paul Ova (March 17, 1925-Oct 24, 1930), was born. Some of Eva’s
earliest memories are of times spent playing with her brother, who was nicknamed
Uskie.
Eva remembers taking a
trip to Kentucky with her mother the summer of 1930, when she was seven, Edna
was nine and Uskie was just five. They had such a good time meeting family and
seeing a part of the country they’d never been to before. Eva remembers that they
met their Grandma, Polly Bentley, and just loved her so much. They also met her
mother’s sister, Aunt Francis. Eva kept in touch with Aunt Francis throughout
her life, writing letters and calling her from time to time. Eva said that same
winter after their trip Kentucky, her Grandma Bentley passed away, so she only
ever got to meet her that one time.
That same year, little Uskie,
who was just five years old, died after an accident with a horse: It was a
horse he knew and loved, but he accidentally approached it from the back, and
the horse was startled and kicked Uskie in the stomach. There was nothing much
the doctors could do for him, and he died of internal injuries the next day. This
was a tragedy for their whole family, and was one of the most poignant, sad
memories of Eva’s early childhood. She remembers one evening just after Uskie
died, her mother was baking bread. She pulled the batter out and just set it on
the counter and ran outside. Her mama sat on the back steps with her apron up
to her face, sobbing into it, saying, “Not again! Not again! My baby, my baby!”
Eva remembers she and her sister running to her mother to offer comfort and to
cry with her. She said her mama grabbed up all of them and sat on the steps
just crying and holding them and crying some more for such a long time. It was
such a heartbreaking time for them all. Eva missed her little brother
throughout her life and often spoke of him and the love he brought to her family.
After his death, Eva then became the
baby of her family – the youngest of five sisters. She gladly took on the role
of “baby” and would laughingly proclaim, “but I’m the baby!” throughout her
life, just to tease about how she deserved to be spoiled and pampered. Eva was
extremely close with all her sisters, and looked up to each of them – Mina,
Oma, Hazel and Edna. She and Edna were almost exactly two years apart, with
Edna’s birthday being just a day before Eva’s. Each year the two of them shared
a birthday party together. They lived near the old Wicks Schoolhouse in
Wapello, and invited neighboring school-age children to celebrate their
birthdays with them. One year, a big snowstorm came on their birthday week, and
the school was closed. It seemed everyone would be snowed in that year and
there would be no party. But then, such a surprise happened! -- All the
children came on a horse-drawn sleigh and on horseback through the drifts of
snow to wish them a happy birthday and spend their day off school celebrating
with Edna and Eva. It was sooo exciting and memorable!
Eva loved being with her
sisters, and when school started and Edna was in first grade, poor little Eva
was just five. She cried and cried because she didn’t want to be without her
sister. So, her mother finally had a talk with the teacher, and Eva was allowed
to go to school at age five – which was highly unusual in those days! So long
as she could sit by Edna, there was no more crying! Eva loved learning and was
an excellent student in school. She said her favorite subjects as a girl were
geography and history. Since her family lived so close to the schoolhouse, Eva
and her sisters would help their mother clean the school in the evenings after
the school day was over.
At the Wicks school, Eva
and the other children and teacher built their own tennis court. They cleared
it off from sagebrush and willow trees, and put a fence around it. Then they
rolled heavy milk cans across it to flatten and smooth it, and put lots of
water on it to make it hard. Mr. Raymond Bond got them all tennis raquets for
75 cents apiece so they could practice and compete. They also practiced for
track meets against other schools. They would go into town and race at the
meets. Eva used to do the relay race with Donna Fulmer and Fred Woodland. They
did really well and got lots of blue ribbons. At school, they would also have
big Christmas programs with lots of songs and plays. Their parents would always
come to watch them perform, which was so much fun.
When she young, Eva
shared a bed with Edna and Hazel. Then, after Oma left home, Edna and Hazel
would share. But Eva would whine and holler, “I don’t want to sleep alone or
I’ll freeze to death!” so then sometimes one of them would come sleep with her
instead. On Sundays, their family went to church in the summertime, but it was
harder to get there in the winter. So, their mother would read to them from the
Bible, then they would have time to read it on their own.
In the Frasure home, back
in the day, there was no internet or computers, no television or radio, or even
electricity. (They didn’t get it until 1938 or 1939, when Eva was a teenager.)
So, Eva and her sisters spent their evenings by lamplight and candlelight. It
was Eva’s job to clean the chimneys on the kerosene lamps with newspaper –
because she had such small hands and could easily put her whole hand up inside
them. At night, all the girls loved being entertained by their father, Robert,
playing the banjo. Their family had special-ordered an organ from back East,
and some of Eva’s sisters learned to play along with their dad. Eva and Edna
both took tap lessons and would tap dance together to their old favorites. Even
into her 80s, she would show us kids all her amazing tap dancing moves—especially
the shuffle! She really loved music and dancing, all her life.
She also loved being
outdoors. When she was quite young, her father took her and Edna up to Island
Park area, to where he was helping to cut lumber to make railroad ties. They
camped there, and in the early morning he took them to see a beaver dam, where
the beavers were hard at work, slapping the water and gnawing on branches. She
loved that experience and enjoyed retelling it to us grandkids as a bedtime
story. She said her family just loved that area up by Island Park. They fished
and camped up there a lot, three or four summers in row while her dad was working
up there, and lots of times as she got older, too. They used to catch chipmunks
and put them in a shoebox, and the chipmunks would dig out the bottom of the
box by the next morning. She said her family felt quite possessive of the area
and felt like it was “their country!” They were pretty sad when so many people
started building homes and cabins up there.
Eva was a very active girl
and really loved climbing trees. One day, when she was about six, she climbed a
big tree, then told her sisters, “watch this! I’m going to swing just like
Tarzan!” Well, she didn’t end up swinging like Tarzan, but fell out of that
tree and broke her arm. She used to retell that story often – as a cautionary
tale for every one of her grandkids. But, of course, it didn’t stop any of us
from climbing in her giant willow trees and swinging like Tarzan.
Eva also remembers going
to the circus when she was 14. She felt very grown-up because she got to take
her little nephew, Gayle, (Mina and Paul’s son) who was just eight. There were
elephants and all kinds of animals. (Her husband, Doug, said he remembers
getting to go to it too – he and his brother, Wally, carried water to the
elephants to get tickets to it.) Eva was most impressed with the star of the
show, Tom Mix, who was so brave and daring – he rode the horses standing up in
the saddle! (He was also very handsome, she thought.)
In 1936 or 1937, when Eva
was about 13 or 14, her mother got really sick with a tumor in her uterus the
size of a grapefruit. Her situation was urgent, so they took her to a Dr.
Kackley in Soda Springs. It was winter, and the snow was coming down fast. A
friend, Ernest Call, drove the car, and Robert – Eva’s father – sat on the
outside of the car somehow, so he could scrape the snow off the windshield as
they drove. Dr. Kackley saw her straight away and operated on her with radium.
She was so sick they didn’t know if she would make it through. While their
mother was having surgery and recovering in Soda Springs, Edna and Eva stayed
home and did the chores around the house. They did the janitor work at the
school, without their mother. Eva said Edna was always afraid they wouldn’t get
up in time to get everything done and get to school on time. They had to carry
water to the water fountain in the school and do some other early-morning jobs.
Edna wouldn’t let them put an extra blanket on the bed at night because she was
so afraid they would oversleep, so they slept cold instead. Her mother
recovered and lived until 1963. But she always had trouble with her legs after
that, and had really bad, painful varicose veins.
Being a farm girl, Eva
remembers working hard with all her sisters, taking turns helping her parents
in the fields. As soon as they were old enough, they helped all the neighboring
farmers thin their beets. They would thin their own beets as chores, but when
they helped thin the neighbors beets, they got paid $7 per acre. They could
thin about half an acre a day, and they got to keep what they earned. She
recalls good, fun times thinning those beets with lots of different folk,
including the Hone family. She had her eye on that Lynn Hone guy and enjoyed
working along side him from time to time. They liked to tease each other, and
one day, when Eva was 14 or 15, she picked up a dirt clod to throw across the
row at Lynn. Right then, Lynn’s father, Jim, stood up between them and Eva
ended up hitting JIM with the clod, right in his ear! She was so embarrassed
and she and Lynn started laughing. Jim pretended to be upset for a minute. He
said, “Why Eva, you little shit! I ought to give you a lickin’ for that!!” But
then all three of them were laughing so hard! -- who knew they were one day
going to be in-laws!? She said Jim teased her throughout her life, telling her,
“I never did give you that lickin’, did I!?”
Eva said she first met Lynn
when they were both about five years old, when his family was pasturing cows on
her parents’ land. The Hones would come to milk their cows daily. Lynn came
over with a friend, Kenneth Pixton, and one threw the other one’s hat on top of
their roof. That’s the first memory Eva had of Lynn. They started going
together when they were 14 – but they had to go with her sister Edna and her
boyfriend, and a whole bunch of other friends. On their first date, they went
rollerskating. Eva loved rollerskating and said she’d go with a group of
friends almost every Friday night. And then, almost every Saturday, they all
went dancing together, or sometimes watched a show at the Nuart Theatre. She
had two best girlfriends in high school that were always part of their big
group dates – Betty Hall and Margie Bithell. She wrote, “We three were ALWAYS
ALL together! For years, I wrote to them, and we always kept in contact, our
entire lives.” She and Lynn dated each
other, and also dated other people back and forth during high school, but
usually came back to each other after a short time. His mother was always so
tickled when they went out, because Lynn was very shy, and she wanted him to
date and dance more.
One time, they were on a
double date – but Eva was with Vern France, and Lynn was with a gal named
Lorraine. Halfway through the date, Lynn suggested that maybe they could trade
dates, so he could be with Eva. She told him, “No! If you want to date me,
you’ll have to ask me out yourself!” So after that, he did, repeatedly. At one
point, Lynn was dating another girl, Norma, for awhile. Eva said she got mad at
him for that, so she got a boyfriend, Rex, for six months or so. Then, they
were both at a wedding dance for a mutual friend. Lynn was dancing with Eva’s
sister, Edna, and asked her, (referring to Eva) “Do you suppose she’ll dance
with me?” Edna told him, “I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask her?” So he did.
Eva said she danced with him there and ended up riding home with him that
night. They sorted all their problems and got back together after that. She
wrote, reminiscing, “I liked him because he was sooo handsome and gentle and
sweet. He really was just the cutest guy around – always was!” She also wrote
that “I can’t remember just why he liked me, but I was sooo glad he did! I
wouldn’t have wanted to hurt him for anything.”
After high school, Eva
decided to go to ISU Beauty School. She lived with a family (the woman was
named Leah Wright) in Pocatello and stayed with them in exchange for
babysitting and house cleaning. They would give her bus fare to go to the
school, but she would save the money, and instead, would walk up to the school
each day for her classes – a couple or three miles each way! She said it was so
much fun doing hair in the salon there and learning from the other girls. They
all took turns doing each other’s hair, as well as serving clients. She
continued to use this skill throughout her life. She and Edna would cut and
style each other’s hair, and she kept her license current and often did home perms,
cuts and hair dye for friends and family. At family reunions, she loved doing
hair for all her sisters and nieces. She even volunteered in the hospital in
her older years, doing hair for ladies who were unwell and on bedrest. She
would also cut her OWN hair quite often. Even in her 70s and 80s, she would sometimes
get up in the night and start cutting her hair when she couldn’t sleep!
While she was in beauty
school, Eva and Lynn exchanged lots of letters. He would drive up to see her
often, and she’d see him when she was home visiting family. We recently read a
letter Lynn had written her during that time, where he told her he was so sad
he couldn’t make the trip because it would cost too much in gas money!
(Although we think very little of a 30mile trip these days, gas was precious
and expensive back then!) On her 19th birthday, in March 1942, Lynn
asked Eva to marry him. He came out to her house and knelt down and gave her a
ring. Then they went to dinner together. The next day, Lynn came over and got
Eva and together they asked her dad. She said he was so cute and nervous about
it. They didn’t set a date, but were kind of engaged through that whole summer,
then got married in the late fall. They were both 19 years old.
She wrote/told the following
about their actual wedding time: One Sunday night in November, Lynn told me he
thought it was about time we get married. I said ok, so he asked, “Can you be
ready by Tuesday? That’s Dad’s birthday, and I want to get married on his
birthday!” I said, “Tuesday?! Tuesday?! I don’t know! You better let us think
about it.” He said “Oh, you can make it, can’t you? I’ll help all I can. Come
on!” So we did make it two days later – on Tuesday, November 24, 1942 – Lynn’s
dad’s birthday.
It was a rainy day, and
they got married at the First Baptist church at 4pm, just Eva and Lynn, and
their parents and the pastor. Then they had a big wedding dance at the Wapello
LDS church a few days or weeks later, which she thought was so much fun! She
wrote “Lynn had to work that next day, so there was no time for a honeymoon
till later.” She said her mother gave them some pillows she had made, as a
wedding gift, and Lynn’s mother made them some beautiful pillowcases. Her
sisters went in to get them a nice set of dishes.
Right after they were
married, they moved in with Lynn’s parents for 16 months while they built their
own home up the road. Lynn farmed with his dad, and Eva worked at Nuart Beauty
Shop for awhile.
When Lynn was drafted
into the Navy in 1944, after his basic training he was stationed in
Bremmerton,WA. Eva wanted to stay close to him, so she a got an apartment with
some of the other Navy wives in Seattle. This made it so she and Lynn could see
each other more often. Eva got a job while she was there, as a rivet inspector
at Boeing Aircraft. She made sure they were smooth, so they didn’t cut down on
the airspeed of the war planes. – She was just like Rosie the Riveter, and even
called herself that if you asked her about it! She also got a job at Woolworths
variety store for a time. She remembers that one time while she was the
cashier, a famous movie star came in -- Victor Mature! He made quite the
impression on her! He was very handsome and tall, and she got to “check him
out!” (ha!)
While she and Lynn lived
in Washington, they found out they were expecting a baby! Eva had some fainting
spells early in her pregnancy, so she quit her job to go back to Blackfoot,
where she could be with her mother and have more care during the pregnancy. In
December 1945, their first son, Dennis Lynn was born. Lynn was still stationed
in WA and was not able to come home to see their new son right away. She called
him on the day the baby came, and together they decided on Dennis. (They had
talked about naming him Randy, but she had started thinking about the name
Dennis a few weeks earlier and had written and suggested it to Lynn.) So, Lynn
didn’t actually get to meet his firstborn son until March 1946, when Dennis was
three months old. Eva said she was at her folks house, and she heard Lynn’s car
drive up in the driveway. She hurried and dropped baby Dennis into the
bassinet, then rushed out to meet Lynn. Dennis was screaming bloody murder by
the time Lynn finally got to see him! Eva talked a lot about how grateful she was
to have the support and love of her mother and sisters during that time,
waiting for Lynn to come home.
Once the war was over,
Lynn and Eva started life as new parents. Lynn went back into farming, and Eva
started learning the ropes of homemaking and motherhood. Eva always had a very
soft spot for children – most especially her own three boys.
As I mentioned, Dennis
was born in December 1945. One of the stories Grandma told often about baby
Dennis was the time she set a bowl of oatmeal near him and was planning to feed
him. But she turned away really quick to get something. When she turned around,
he had grabbed the bowl of oatmeal and dumped the whole thing over his head!
You can just imagine how we loved to hear that story and hear Grandma laugh about
her mischievous boy! Dennis remembers her teaching him to pray – kneeling
beside the bed, with her arms folded around his as she first taught him “Now I
lay me down to sleep…” and later, how to pray from his heart.
When Dennis was four and
a half, baby brother, Orval Roger was born in June 1950. (Named after Lynn’s
brother Orv [Arv], who died that same year.) Now, you have to know, Eva,
growing up in a family of all girls, was fully planning to have a bunch of
girls of her own. Her baby shower for Roger was allllll pink! I still have a
tiny pair of pink shoes from that shower that her beautiful baby BOY never
wore. (I have to say, I’ve seen lots of his baby pictures, and I’m not kidding
that he was such a gorgeous, beautiful boy! – he even won a local baby contest
in the newspaper.) Of course, once he arrived, Eva was more than THRILLED with
her boy, Roger. When he was just one year old, Roger contracted whooping cough.
It caused him to have swelling of the brain, and great difficulty developing
learning skills. Lynn and Eva were told he would never be able to progress past
the 2nd grade. You can imagine the heartache this caused their
family. This was back in the early 1950s, and they certainly didn’t have all
the resources and education to deal with children with special needs. With
Lynn’s help, Eva took it upon herself to work with Roger and help him graduate
with his class, right on time. Dennis said, she would spend hours sitting with
Roger at the kitchen table in the evenings, helping him with his homework and
class work, so he could stay caught up. Some of the teachers and administrators
were not always supportive, but she patiently persevered and helped him get his
diploma so he could get a good job and have a life of his own and marry a
special lady, LeeAnn Scott.
This several-years-long
experience working with Roger was obviously not something she would have asked
for or really wanted for her family or her sweet son. But I think it taught her
compassion and patience, on a level not all of us can understand. Her whole
life, she had so much love and compassion for people – no matter who they were
or what they’d been through. She withheld judgment, always, and just loved,
loved, loved, forgave, trusted, and loved some more. She truly had a Christlike
love for others – the love of our Savior Jesus, which she nurtured through her
faith in Him throughout her life.
A quick story or two
about Roger, before we move on – One time at the dinner table, he asked his dad
to refill his glass of milk. He was holding up his glass and Lynn was holding
the pitcher. Lynn told him, “say when.” Well, instead of telling him when he
had poured enough, Roger simply pulled his cup away, leaving Lynn pouring milk
all over the kitchen table. I’m sure it wasn’t so funny in the moment, but any
time Grandma would tell that story, she was laughing like it was the funniest
thing in the world.
Another time at dinner,
the family was eating chicken that Eva had prepared. Apparently it was an old chicken,
and was not particularly tender and succulent. The whole family was quietly
chewing, trying to get it down, when Roger piped up, “this is a tough ol’ hen!”
It became a bit of a humorous catch phrase for the family for years to come
when dinner didn’t turn out quite right. Another catch phrase that Eva said
often – “Butter around the edges!” – when anyone was buttering a piece of
toast. She said it was something her dad always said. And, “What’s on the
docket for today?” – something Lynn’s father, Jim, said most every morning in a
cheerful voice. She loved to remember those kinds of things and pass them down.
Five years after Roger
was born, all Eva’s sisters and friends threw her another shower in all pink
colors once again… And once again, Eva and Lynn were THRILLED to welcome their
third son, Dallas F. Hone in Aug 1956. (F stood for Frasure, just like Lynn A
stood for Anderson, his mother’s maiden name. But both were just middle
initials. Dallas would continue the tradition, naming his first son, Ladd K,
for Kofeod, his mother’s maiden name.) Dallas was their baby and completed
their beautiful family. He was adored and doted on by his mother his entire
life. Dallas was an active, adventurous boy and loved to be outdoors, in the
fields or in the mountains. He loved baseball and was an excellent second
baseman. Of course, Eva’s favorite sport was baseball, mainly because she loved
to watch him play. As a teenager, he loved motorcycling and rode hard and risky
sometimes! If you knew what a WORRIER Eva was, you can just imagine how she
felt about this, but she supported him and was excited to hear about his
adventures.
Eva and Lynn really
enjoyed being together with their boys. One of their favorite family activities
was occasionally driving into town to get chocolate malts together. On one
occasion, they decided to take their malts to go, so Eva was going up to the
walk-up window to get them while Lynn and the boys waited in the car. Lynn
said, “I’d like a strawberry malt this time, instead of chocolate.” So, she
went up to the window to place the order. She asked the cashier at the window,
“Can I please have four chocolate malts, and one strawberry chocolatemalt?” He
looked at her, kind of confused. So she repeated herself, “I’d like four
chocolate malts, and one strawberry chocolatemalt to go, please.” He still
looked confused and asked, “Sooo, you want me to put strawberries in your
chocolate malt?” She answered, “Well no, of course not! I just want FOUR
chocolate malts. And one STRAWBERRY chocolatemalt.” The cashier just looked at
her and tried to ask her again if she wanted to mix strawberry and chocolate
together. “Well,” she said, then repeated the same interchange: “We want four
chocolate malts. But we also want one strawberry chocolatemalt.” She was
getting really frustrated by then, but turned back to the car parked nearby. And
there was Lynn, just laughing… he could overhear and knew what was going on. She
was just so used to ordering chocolate malts, that she was calling it a strawberry
chocolatemalt, even though she really meant just a STRAWBERRY malt. By the time
she came out to the car with her order of chocolate malts and Lynn’s strawberry
malt, everyone was laughing so hard. It became a favorite family joke, any time
they talked about getting malts together.
Eva loved to take her
boys and their cousins swimming at the very same swimming hole she and her
sisters used to swim in when they young – a canal right up near the Wicks
schoolhouse, she called it “the slough.” Then, when us grandkids were young,
she used to pile all of us in her Oldsmobile and continued the tradition,
letting us all swim in the slough… even though the path of the canal had been
changed over time, she told us stories about where they used to swim, and found
us a good swim hole of our own, our very own slough. She talked about how sweet
it was to see Trent, the youngest grandkid, holding onto empty milk jugs – the
1980s version of “floaties” – as he was learning to swim. A couple of times,
she let some of us ride home from the slough in the trunk, just because we were
begging. That was actually a little scary – especially the times she let 13-year-old
Lance drive us home! ;)
While they were raising
their family, Eva and Lynn really loved to get together with family and take
the boys camping, hunting and fishing. Wolverine Canyon, Island Park and
Yellowstone were some of her very favorite “vacation places.” She also loved
Sawmill Canyon, Cedarville Canyon and Mackay Reservoir. Basically anywhere they
could go to get away and just be together. Eva LOVED to be together with her
parents, her sisters and their families, and with Lynn’s family, too. “The more
the merrier!” seemed to be her way of life. In her writings, she always
included EVERYONE who was there, and often who she wished could have been there at whatever outing was had. She loved holidays
and traditions and mostly just loved being with her family. She almost NEVER
EVER missed a Frasure family reunion her entire life… Even just over a month before
she passed away, Eva was sooo excited to go to the Frasure reunion in Idaho
Falls. She had a hard time remembering names, but she hid it well – When her
nephew, Keith and his wife Renee came to give her a hug, she slyly read their
name tags then enthusiastically said, “Well, Keith!? Renee?! I’m soooo glad to
see you two made it.” When they looked quite surprised that she knew them so
readily, she giggled and said, “Well, I can still read pretty well, ya know?!”
Made them both laugh along with her.
Some of us from this
younger generation missed out on Eva’s water fights! – Apparently, back in the
day, she was notorious for starting water fights at family reunions! Almost all
her nieces and nephews wrote her letters and cards at one time or another,
recalling fun times when she had started yet another water fight when they were
all together. I don’t know the full details, but I heard that one time she
climbed on a roof with a big pot of water, then snuck over the top of Lynn and
Mina’s husband, Paul, to drench them with a real sneak attack! Of course, I
also heard that she always ended up more wet than anyone else, and laughed the
hardest, too! She would go around hugging everyone when she was soaking wet,
trying to get others more wet!
She always loved to have
fun. She enjoyed rollerskating and dancing her whole life. Even in her 70s and
80s, she’d often say, “If I had a pair of rollerskates right now, oh, wouldn’t
that be so fun!?” She and Lynn were part of a square dancing club for nearly 25
years. She made beautiful, twirly square dance dresses for herself, and she and
Lynn had great friendships from their dancing days. There were four other
couples in particular (Art and Gladys Crone, Jack and Lucille Jones, Gerald and
Eva Going, Zane and Molly Caldwell) that would dance together and also get
together often to play cards or have dinner together. She was always very
active, and worked at staying healthy – she exercised often and maintained a
healthy weight all her life. Even into her 90s, she would go for walks in her
driveway or over to see Dennis, just to keep active. One other little “healthy”
sidenote -- she was also very diligent at caring for her teeth. She brushed
thoroughly and often! She always told us grandkids, “Make sure you take care of
your teeth! You only get just one set for your whole life.” And she still had ALL her teeth, and
hardly ever any cavities, her whole life.
She was active, she played
hard, and she also worked hard, always. While she was raising her sons, she had
several different jobs outside the home – she worked at Nonpareil potato
factory for awhile, and at Nuart beauty salon, and she worked as a cook in the
elementary schools for the local district lunchrooms for several years. She was
an attendant at the local State Hospital for awhile. She was also always very
active on the farm, helping drive trucks at harvest time and taking care of
animals – cows, sheep, pigs, and always a litter of kittens and a dog or two
(the ones she really liked, she named Pudgie… Pudgie #1, Pudgie #2, Pudgie #3…).
When Dennis was in high school, one summer he took on a project of raising a
crop of hay, renting ground from a farmer several miles from home. He remembers
Eva helping him with raking the hay to get ready to bail, working just as hard
as he did to help bring in his crop. He said he earned only $600 that summer –
not so much, even back in the day. But he sure learned a lot about hard work,
and about how willing his mom was to help him with his goals and plans!
Eva was frugal and
industrious, and enjoyed homemaking. She believed in keeping a clean kitchen and
doing the dishes right after each meal. For years and years, she cared for a
large garden and did home canning and bottling. When her sons married, she
worked alongside her daughters-in-law, teaching them all her secrets. A word
about her daughters-in-law, Eva said many times through the years, she had made
up her mind well before any of her sons were thinking about marriage – she
would love whoever they chose as their mates, and would welcome them as her
very own daughters. She truly thought that way and showed so much love to her
daughers-in-law, Karen Phelps, Noi Kofeod, and LeeAnn Scott. Dennis’s wife,
Karen, remembers working several summers together with Eva, bottling HUNDREDS
of quarts of beans, tomatoes, corn, beets, pickles (both sweet and dill), as
well apricots, cherries, grape juice, peaches, and pears. And let’s not forget
the freezer jam! Grandma’s raspberry patch was enormous, and those raspberries
made the most delectable jam, loved by ALL her kids and grandkids! Karen
remembers one year she and Eva collected 13 flats of raspberries in just one
picking!!
Along with fruits and
vegetables in her garden, Eva also grew all kinds of flowers, all around her
home. She loved roses and peonies, lilacs and bleeding hearts, hyacinths,
holihocks, sweet peas, gladiolas, bridal wreath. And she loved the color pink! Even the day she passed away, as we reminisced
with her, she kept complimenting my pink blouse. She said, “I’ve always just
loved pink, such a pretty color!” She loved to wear pink, and loved to see pink
in the world around her.
Eva loved sewing,
crocheting, and embroidery most all her life. She made lots of clothes for
herself and her boys – and later her grandkids. She embroidered beautiful
edging and flowers on tablecloths, sheets and pillowcases. And she crocheted
everything from hotpads and dishtowel tops, to dolls, doilies, and heavy,
rainbow colored afghans and quilts for their home and as gifts for others. She
loved cooking and baking and always had something delicious waiting for dinner
or as a little treat for the kids – and later the grandkids and even great
grandkids.
One funny story about
Eva’s cooking, from way back… apparently one Thanksgiving she volunteered to
make the pumpkin pies for the Frasure Thanksgiving dinner. They looked
beautiful and the cousins (her nephews in particular) could hardly wait until
it was time for dessert. Well, when the pie was finally cut, Mike Akers (Eva’s
nephew) remembers his Dad, Paul, at the table tasting that first bite – and
then spitting it out! Eva had gotten mixed up and put in a full measure of
SALT, instead of SUGAR in the pie! She sure got teased for that one.
But the truth is, Eva was
a wonderful cook. She worked hard to make delicious balanced meals for her
family, using their homegrown garden and potatoes, along with meat from their
farm animals – steak or chicken, sometimes lamb, mutten or pork. She was fond
of making a really rich carrot cake or spice cake with raisins, or yellow cake
with chocolate frosting. She also liked to keep handy a bag of gingersnap
cookies to have with a glass of milk. And Nestle Quik and graham crackers, for
the grandkids. She liked her coffee black, and was never much of a tea drinker.
She was known by most to be a “food pusher” of the sweetest kind. “Have you
eaten? Can I get you something? Are you
hungry? Here, take part of mine.” I’m almost positive that anyone who ever knew
Eva at all was asked these questions, at least once, every ten to fifteen
minutes! Even a few nights before she passed away, she was laying in her bed,
feeling so unwell, and a grandson, Trent, brought his kids to visit. She
whispered to me, “I better see if I can fix them something to eat. Do you think
they like meatloaf?” (We had been talking about her delicious meatloaf recipe a
few minutes before, so it was fresh on her mind.)
Once grandchildren
started coming along, Eva was right in her element! She had six grandsons and
one granddaughter, me. – Wade, Lance, Kamber, Blaine, and Trent were Dennis’s
kids, and Ladd and Shawn were Dallas’s. I mentioned she had a soft spot for
children. Well, when it came to these kids, Eva wholeheartedly embraced her
role as the most energetic, fun-loving, gentle, big-hearted grandma ever! She
was a natural-born teacher, a fantastic story-teller and an amazing memory-maker.
It’s true, she occasionally had to chase a grandkid or two with the
fly-swatter, threatening a lickin’ for poor behavior. But I’m not sure she ever
really caught any of us – maybe Shawn or Blaine? But I’m sure even if she did,
she would have started laughing too hard to really give out any kind of
punishment.
She believed in
sleepovers, hay forts and tree forts and camping trips together with Lynn and
big pancake breakfasts for the whole family together. I already mentioned the regular
swimming outings to the slough… She even took a group of us hiking to the top
of Steven’s Peak, on the Indian Reservation, twice in one summer! She also took
us to Bible school for two weeks every summer at her beloved First Baptist
church. She loved teaching us about how much the Lord loves us, and how to put
our trust in Jesus. I believe she taught this best by example, just by showing
us how much she loved and trusted him. You may not know this, but Eva kept lots
of journals and saved and treasured so many letters from her family. I’ve had a
chance in recent days to read in some of her journals. So often her entries
turned into a prayer of sorts… she’d share details about her current
situations, and then naturally flow into either praising and thanking God for
her blessings, or worrying things out with Him, telling him her problems and
concerns and asking for His help.
In the summer of 1985,
Eva faced one of her biggest trials in this life, when her sweet Lynn died
suddenly of a heart attach at age 62. In her journal, in those dark days that
followed, she poured out her grief to the Lord. She asked for strength to bear
this trial of losing her dear, wonderful husband. They had been married nearly
43 years. During this time of so much heartache, her sisters rallied around
her. At first, they were with her nearly constantly, even taking turns staying
with her at night. Her sons were there, too, almost constantly. And neighbors,
friends and family offered continuous help and support in any way they could.
She wrote in her journal: “Lord, I never ever dreamed there could be so much love
and help shown to us. There has been so much food brought in from so many, many
people. Yesterday, there was four or five tractors and bailers out, and got our
hay mostly all bailed. So many flowers brought in, so much family here … I
didn’t know we had so many friends.”
Eva was a woman of great
faith. She struggled and mourned and ached for Lynn, but she put her trust in
Jesus and accepted the grace and help He offered to help her through her grief.
One morning, after a particularly rough, lonely night, Eva was awakened by a soft
little tap-tapping sound at her bedroom window, very early in the morning. She
sat up and looked out the window, and there sat a tiny, yellow canary, just
outside her window. He stayed and tapped gently, then sat there perched on her
window for a long time while she watched… then finally flew away. He was so
beautiful, and it was so unusual, it gave her an extra measure of peace that
she needed that day. The next morning, it happened again. He came and sat
perched in her window, tapping and watching for a long time, bringing her a
measure of peace and hope for the day ahead. I’m not exactly sure how many
times she saw her little canary, but she told everyone about him, and was so
excited. She had a strong spiritual impression that this beautiful little
canary was a blessing from the Lord – a sign that Lynn was not far away, and
that he still loved her and would be watching over her. She later wrote about
this incident and it was published in Guideposts magazine, a Christian
publication of uplifting, faith-filled stories.
I was nearly 10 at the
time Grandpa Lynn passed away. As Grandma settled in to this new life without
him, I got to be her companion on many rough nights in the months after he was
gone. We lived just across the road, and I would walk over at bedtime and spend
the night with her, often. Oh, how I loved that time with her! Even though I
was a terrible roller and I’m sure I was not fun to sleep with, she only ever
told me how much she appreciated me. She would rub MaryKay moisture cream on
her face and mine, then tuck me under the covers, wrapping them up around my
ears – she told me that’s the best way to sleep and stay warm. Sometimes I’d
wake in the middle of the night to find she had left the bed and was sitting at
her kitchen table reading her bible with a glass of warm milk and honey. Or in
the bathroom cutting her hair! She’d quickly come back to bed with me… kids can
be a good distraction, right?
This lonely chapter for
Eva was long and hard. She spent a lot of time visiting with her sisters and
other family. Roger and his wife, LeeAnn would come regularly to spend an
evening watching television with her. And Dallas and Dennis both lived so close
and would just do anything to help her. But she also spent a lot of time in her
house, by herself, missing Lynn.
Five years after Lynn
passed away, Eva attended her 50th high school class reunion. It was
there that she reconnected with Doug Malm, another friend who had grown up in
Wapello. Doug had lost his wife, Erna, the year before. Doug asked if he could
see Eva again, and she agreed to go on a date with him. After a short time of
dating, Eva brought him home to dinner, to “meet the family.” We all got to
know Doug and realized he was pretty serious about Grandma! On September 29,
1990, Eva and Doug were married. They both seemed to have found a new lease on
life in each other’s companionship. They immediately got Doug’s motorhome serviced,
and set off on adventures! In those first years after they were married, they
cruised the country, visiting family and friends and every historical place
they had ever wanted to see. From Seattle to Miami, and from Los Angeles to New
York City – (I remember them telling how they drove that motorhome across the
Brooklyn Bridge and down Fifth Avenue!...just about scared Grandma half to
death!) Up the coast of Maine, and even down into Mexico! They loved every
minute of it… they reconnected with family and old friends, and made lots of
new friends along the way as well. Doug’s family just added more people to love
in Eva’s life. Doug’s three children, Marty, Vicky, and Kirk, and 11 step-grandchildren
as well as new in-laws and great-grandchildren as time passed. She loved them
all and enjoyed spending time with them and called them all her family!
One sweet thing Doug and
Eva did… each of them had been married for more than 40 years to their previous
spouses, which is quite an accomplishment. Then, once they started adding up
even more years, together, they
decided to throw a celebration of 100 years of marriage – including all the
years of marriage with their former spouses, and the new marriage between the
two of them. They printed it in the newspaper and invited everyone to a party.
And you know how Eva loved a party! She actually behaved herself at that one,
and didn’t even start a water fight or anything. Ha! Doug and Eva were married
for nearly 28 years. As Doug often affirmed, he “loved every minute of it! Life
with Eva was just so much fun!” he said. “I got a second chance with an angel,
and just feel so blessed to have such a wonderful, beautiful lady in my life!”
I think we all feel the
same way, Doug; some people get just get sweeter and sweeter with time, and Eva
was one of the sweetest! My Dad, Dennis, has always said, Doug has been such a
wonderful blessing to our family in the tender way he loved and cared for Eva
all these past years. We all feel really grateful that they had each other.
Just a few thoughts about
these past few years of Eva’s life… A poet once said, “God gave us memories,
that we might have June roses in the December of our lives.” Eva sure had some
wonderful memories to brighten her December days. Once she and Doug were
spending more time at home, and didn’t feel so much like going out, Eva spent
many long hours buried in her journals and letters and photographs. She loved
reliving sweet moments of times with family and friends from long ago, and
would gladly share her stories with visitors. As her shortterm memory got hazy
and she started to get disoriented about things, all her memories from long ago
were what kept her feeling grounded and secure. As life came full circle for
her, it was her son, Dennis, who took care of her needs there at the end, and
Doug’s son, Kirk. Eva kept her sense of humor to the very end… One morning last
spring, Dennis was helping her take her pills, giving them to her one at a time
with a glass of water. She would sip a little water, then take a pill. Then
he’d give her another one to take – so she would get plenty to drink at the
same time she was taking the pills. As she got to the last pill that morning,
there was still just a smidge of water in the bottom of her cup. She swirled it
around, then looked mischievously at Dennis. Then she raised her eyebrows,
smirked at him, and threw the last of the water into his face, with a big laughing
grin!
On those last days when
her oxygen levels were so unstable, the nurses and Dennis were especially
vigilant about checking her oxygen with the little clamp on her finger. At one
of those times, Dennis clamped it onto her finger and Eva said, “What’s this, a
lie detector?” Dennis smiled, then patiently told her it was just to check on
her oxygen levels. As the reading was produced on the little screen, Eva
watched it and said, “Well! Of course, I ALWAYS tell the truth! See!” She waved
her finger around in the air, with the clamp on it. “See, it says Truth! Truth!
Truth! Truth!” Then she looked at Dennis and started giggling to herself at her
funny little joke. She kept us all laughing and smiling, to the very end of her
life. It was just her way.
I haven’t yet spoken too
much of Eva’s faith and religion. I think I wanted to save it for the end. Eva
was a faithful member of the First Baptist Church in Blackfoot most all her
life. She was an upright, stalwart Christian woman of the truest kind. She was
very involved in her church community and served on many committees and boards,
helping with Sunday School and other activities. She was very instrumental in
helping to raise the money for their new church building on Rose Road, and was
very proud of that beautiful building. She also enjoyed attending a Saturday
evening service at the Cowboy Christian Church with Doug these past few years. She
knew the Bible well and loved the New Testament, especially the Four Gospels.
She knew and loved her
Savior, Jesus Christ, and had a personal relationship with Him. His gospel was
her way of life, and His strength saw her through her hardest times. In 1998,
her son Roger died of a heart attack at the age of 47. This was such a sad, sad
time for Eva, to lose her boy. And again, in May of 2014, she lost her son,
Dallas, to a heart attack at age 57, which was so heartbreaking for her. Eva
actually had to say a lot of goodbyes in the last years of her life – her parents,
and Lynn’s, her boys and Lynn, of course, and all her sisters and brothers-in-law,
her grandson, Wade, and most all her lifelong friends went before her. Her
faith gave her strength to bear the heartache of each goodbye, and trust that
Jesus Christ truly was resurrected so that we ALL can live again, and see and
be with our loved ones as we depart from this life. She felt the true power of
Jesus’ atonement in her life, and found joy in Him. I know this, because she
wrote it in all her letters to me, in almost every birthday card, and over and
over again in her journals. Near the end of her life, Eva often awoke from a
nap with the feeling that she had just spent time with her mother, or one of
her sisters. I believe the door between this life and the next was propped open
at least a few times for her, and those angel sisters were just waiting for
her. And Lynn and her sons and all the others… I can only imagine the great reunion Eva has
been having these past days, just enjoying one big heavenly party with so many
she loved. May she rest in peace, until we all join her sweet spirit, is my
prayer.
