Slowler. And other randomness.

It's just past midnight, and I just finished reading through every blog on my list. I even commented on almost all of them -- which, as you can imagine, took me awhile. It was nice and relaxing to see what other people are up to. It's been a long time since I've taken time to just sit back and enjoy cyberspace.

But really, shouldn't I be sleeping right now? The answer is yes, of course. But I think I have a mild case of insomnia or something. The past few weeks (and especially the past few nights) I've had such a hard time sleeping. I toss and turn and get up to use the bathroom and check on my kids and look out the window and whatever else there is to do in the middle of the night besides sleeping. Tonight is an exception -- I haven't actually tried going to bed yet. I guess part of me figures, what's the point? Maybe I'm hoping I'll get so super tired enough that I'll just drop off eventually and get some really deep sleep. Who knows.

Despite the lack of restful sleep, I'm happy to report it has been a better few days around here. I have not stomped my feet or screamed frantically for awhile. This is good. This is very good, in fact. I'm even doing better at the prayer thing, though it's still really hard to make the habit stick. I'm trying, and I think the Lord knows that. And another thing that seems to be helping...

Slowler
I wanted to write a few words about slowler. This is Samantha's original word, and I think it is so cute. Sometimes, when I'm in a hurry to leave the house, I start buckling her into her car seat as fast as I possibly can, throwing the diaper back in the back seat at top speed, shoving shoes and socks in so we can put them on when we get where we're going (lets face it, they come off in the car anyway so what's the point in putting them on BEFORE we leave the house?)... With all this going on, Samantha sometimes looks at me and says, "Mom, can we go just some little bit slowler?"

The other day I stopped long enough to see the look in her eyes when she said this, and I decided to take it to heart. I'm really trying to "go some little bit slowler." And it's helping. I know it's not an original idea, and it's something every grandmother would tell a young mother -- stop and enjoy the little moments, take some time to just relax and appreciate your kids, etc. I just happen to like the way Sammie said it. It hit home for me, and it's easy for me to remember, when things get hectic. Just go slowler.

And what have I noticed? Well, for one thing, my punctuality fettish is a bit petty. Sometimes we'll be on time, many times we will not. We're excused; we have children. And for those who do not excuse us, they are welcome to come watch our children so we can be on time. In addition, I'm realizing my housekeeping is not that bad, even on a bad day. I can live with more clutter and dust, and I feel better if I try not to focus on it.

What else? I've noticed that Samantha's eye lashes are really long. And when she gets really excited, she blinks a lot and bats those lashes right down over those big blue eyes in the cutest way. And Spencer -- he's always scratching himself with his nails. I cut them all the time, but when I look close at that baby soft skin there's always some new little cuts he's made. How does he do that? Also, he's such a little chatty boy. He has this most adorable/slightly annoying high-pitched scream that he comes up with when he gets really, really excited. It's so cute. I'll have to get it on video one of these days. I'm just really enjoying the times I get to hold and cuddle my babies right now. Good stuff.

I've been going slowler outside, too. We've been on more walks lately, and I'm loving the sunshine and autumn weather. Samantha loves to pick up rocks and leaves on the walks, and Spencer just calms right down the second we leave the house. It's something we all seem to need, but I just haven't felt like I have time to do it. We spent two hours yesterday just sitting on a blanket in the back yard. (Well, actually Spence was on the blanket, Sam was running around the yard, and I was repotting some plants.) It's just so refreshing to be outside and have some quiet time to think... even with kids.

I've also noticed more of the thoughtful things Brian does all the time. He made us dinner last night so I could get ready for Scouts without getting frazzled. That's not always typical, but it's thoughtful and kind, as Brian always is.

Well, I'm tired now, and my typing is getting slowler. So, I guess I'll go try that sleep thing again. Goodnight blogging world. My Girl's advice to the stressed and troubled: just go some little bit slowler.