Back Blogging: Camping in June

I love, love, loved this camping trip. It was such a fun start to the summer. We went up near Kelly's Canyon, by Idaho Falls. All my side of the family was able to be there, except my bro, Blaine and his family (they were excused for having a new baby 3 weeks earlier).

Here are the highlights....

First, we found a new way to drive across the ugliness of middle-Idaho -- by way of Craters of the Moon. It was a prettier drive with more to see, and not quite as boring as the normal freeway way that passes through what Brian's brother calls "Idaho's Protective Belt of Ugliness."

Don't judge the entire drive by this picture, which only shows the famous lava beds...

Brian and I were in charge of breakfast the first morning. We cooked an awesome spread of traditional breakfast fare (eggs, hashbrowns, pancakes, bacon and sausage.) When everyone was full, Lance and Brian cooked up the rest of the pancake batter into the most enormous pancake I've ever seen! It was awesome that it stayed whole! (And no, I didn't really eat it, even though I was "eating for two.")

The kids found this perfect little "hiking hill" that became their grand adventure --- going up and down the hill over and over again. Spencer found his own way "down" (pictured, in red), which left us with one less pair of jeans by the end of the trip, oh well...

The bike trailer was also a huge hit! Brian gave the kids rides, two at a time, up and down the road just outside our campground. Good exercise for him, eh? :)

It was Spencer's absolute favorite. This shot (below) was taken before we asked him to get out and let another kid have a turn. I shoulda taken an "after" shot of him screaming, but I was too busy trying to pry his little fingers off the bars to help extract him...

Our cousins came along, and brought their English bulldog, Bubba. I know, she looks dead. But that's just the way she looked. the entire campout. no joke. I love our nephew's look, as he checks her out...

We took the kids on a 30-minute nature walk, on a little trail behind the campground. They LOVED it. Samantha still talks about how fun the "big hike" was, and wants to go back so we can do that again.

They all took turns being "the leader," walking single file on the path. Sammie's at the head of the line in this one (below). Fun times...

Spencer found another new love -- the four-wheelers! He calls them shore-wheelers, and so do we, now...

Everyone took turns riding the four-wheelers, or at least pretending to...

Even my mom and dad...

We rigged up a pinata for the kids. I like the look on Brian's face in most of our pinata pictures... I think he enjoyed being the one to pull it back and forth. ha!

And yes, it was an authentic, red pepper pinata!

I was a little late getting the "after" picture of everyone scavenging for the candy (I had to help Spencer get some).

Dutch-oven dinner and cobbler. Yum!!

And lots of games (though I never got to sit in on the gaming, too bad.)

A gorgeous mountain sunset and songs around the campfire...

Like many really good camping trips, we got rained out Saturday night, and everyone left in a muddy heap first thing Sunday morning. But it was still a great time!

We stopped at this little one-horse town on the way home at their "city park" and ate our lunch sandwiches in this cute little gazebo. The kids loved the caboose...

The end of my first bit of back blogging summer 2010. More to come.

Natalie's glamor newborn pics

We are lucky enough to have a sister-in-law who has a sister who's into portrait photography. She has her own website (Pepperwood Photography) and is building her portfolio right now. So, she kindly offered to take some newborn pictures of Natalie, at 5 days old. I love them ALL!

As "the mom" I got the fun treat of sitting on the couch, visiting with my sister-in-law and her two sisters while they worked their magic with Natalie...

They created their own natural-light studio in the kitchen,brought their own props (I especially love all the hats), and cranked the heat up to 76F to make Natalie comfortable (while the rest of us were sweating).

I love this little close-up... maybe the most. She has my lips. :)

We've never had "professional" newborn pictures of our babies before, so this was an especially fun treat! Thanks, Alyson (and Jen, and Alysa)!!

The C-Section

Disclaimer: Not my normal post here... I may use a few womanly words in here, such as uterus or placenta. And this might get a little more "detailed" than some people like to read. (This disclaimer is mainly for my squeamish brothers, who will most likely stop reading here.)

So, this is the story of Natalie's birth, for those who care to know how it all happened...

I've mentioned a few different times that this birth was to be a scheduled Cesarean, and that's what it was. The main reason for the C-section was because of some complications I had after Spencer was born... the brief explanation is that after I delivered Spencer, there was a bit of placenta that was still in the womb. I had antibiotics for a few days, then a D&C (is that what they call it in the US, or is that a UK term? Can't remember which is which now??) to remove the material and make sure everything was okay inside me. Well, during the D&C, the tissue was quite infected and one of the instruments poked a hole in my uterus lining. Not good. So, while I was under anesthetics for the D&C, they ended up adding a laparoscopy to survey the damage and to make sure nothing else was punctured. Then they had to perform what I call a "mini-C-section" to stitch up the perforation, which was apparently large enough that they couldn't just leave it. (Thank goodness nothing else was damaged.)

Long story short, I woke up in a lot of pain, stayed in the hospital for a few days, and was advised that because of where the perforation was (way up high in the corner, where the muscle is thinner), I should have C-sections for any further births, because there was a chance that hole could rupture again during labor. Was that too gory to tell? That's the worst that it gets, I think.

Anyway, so all through this pregnancy, I was a bit concerned, just hoping everything healed properly, and that I'd be able to carry this baby full term, etc. As I got closer and closer to due date, I started getting quite anxious about the C-section. I had different friends ask me why I was doing a C-section, and well... as you've just read, it's not that easy to explain.

I also started wondering if it were really the right thing to do. My doctors read all my history, and agreed that a C-section was probably the safest bet. And then, they also advised me that if I were to go into labor on my own, and the labor proceeded rather quickly, there was a good chance I could skip the c-sec and just do a regular labor and birth. BUT, if that happened, there was still a chance that heavy contractions could re-rupture that perforation, so the wisest course was a C-section.

Natalie's due date was Oct 12, and the earliest our hospital would allow a scheduled C-section was at 39 weeks -- Oct 5. I kept thinking/hoping/sometimes fearing that I'd go into labor before then, since both my older kids were born 1 1/2 to 2 weeks early. I had contractions every day for 10 days with Natalie, but nothing regular; every time I started to feel like "this might be it," the contractions would stop and ... nothing. Sigh.

So, the day before the C-section, I visited my doctor one last time, just to see if perhaps I was headed toward labor and might be able to skip the surgery after all. No such luck... only dilated to a one -- barely, and no other "signs" of imminent labor. The doctor was really good with me, trying to help me decide whether I wanted to keep waiting for labor, or whether I wanted to go ahead with the planned C-section. He didn't try to convince me, one way or another, but talked about the pros and cons of each option rather neutrally, which I really appreciated. In the end, I decided to proceed with surgery, for various reasons. The main reason was because it felt like the safest solution, given my history. It was a tough choice, but I felt good about it, considering there was no way to look at my scar and see how it had healed, unless we did a C-section.

So, Brian and I went to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. on October 5th, for a 7 a.m. surgery. My thoughts on a C-section: well, I hope I can do a VBAC next time, if that says anything.... It was not my favorite "hour" of life. But one of the highlights was seeing Brian in scrubs (I think he may have missed a career as a dashing doctor.)

And, of course, the main highlight was hearing and seeing little Natalie as she was born. I didn't immediately get that "moment" where I felt a great surge of emotion about meeting my baby for the first time, because I was numb from the chest down, and I was freeeeeeeeezing from the chest up, and I was flat on my back with a dumb blue hairnet on, and there were 10+ hospital staff in the room with us. Trivial, I know, but those things kinda distracted from the "moment."

But I DID have a beautiful, powerful moment with Natalie once I was settled in my room and the nurse, Jennie, laid her in my arms for the first time. I love those memories of my new babies gazing up at me for the first time, and I will remember that look Natalie gave me, forever. Is there anything more amazing and wonderful than a newborn baby? I love, love, love being part of the miracle of life, and feeling the overwhelming love that just surges up inside me for each of my children as they come into our life here.

The good news about that perforation scar... The doctor was able to thoroughly examine it during the surgery, and said it had healed up really nicely and looked really healthy. I know, that means I probably could have handled labor without a C-section. But really, there was no way to know that without the surgery, so I'm okay with the fact that I went ahead with it. Does that make sense? I'm not really glad -- because who wants a major surgery? But I'm not feeling all sorry about my decision, either. Mainly, I'm just grateful that Natalie is here, and healthy, and I'm healthy and recovering more quickly than I anticipated. (No, I'm not going to "overdo it." Don't worry.)

Well, so, that's the story of Natalie's birth. It's kinda funny -- a few days before Natalie was born, I was thinking about writing down Samantha's birth story, since it happened before I started blogging. I might still blog about it, just because it was interesting (water broke on the Tube in London), and memorable (UK hospital and OB care), and so different from this one (midwives, "other" stitches, gourmet hospital food, etc), and I'd like to have it on here. Maybe some other day. For now, g'nite!

Newborn at home

On Sunday morning, Brian got Samantha and Spencer ready and took them to church (on time, amazingly!) I settled in with Natalie beside me in bed, and started thinking how special it is to have a newborn in our home. She just brings a sweet softness that somehow fills me with more patience, more love, more appreciation. I love it. I feel like I'm more calm and relaxed with Sam and Spence, and I just feel so grateful for the little (and big) things people are doing for me and for our family.

I laid in bed Sunday morning, just watching Natalie sleep beside me for the longest time, just reflecting on the change in our home, in our life, and mainly in me. I almost got up and blogged about it, but then decided to sleep instead.

Fast forward an hour or so... Brian brought the kids home from church and started getting them lunch. I woke up to the sounds of a full-on Samantha Tantrum, with blood-curdling screams, loud shouts of "NO! NO! NO!" and what could only be feet kicking the hard-wood kitchen floor. I just listened from my room, while poor Brian struggled to maintain control for several minutes. The innocent-looking culprit..

It sounded like the Tantrummer was put in time-out in the laundry room, and another screaming/crying fit immediately broke out from Spencer. It was milder, but still intense. Things calmed down for a minute, then I could hear Samantha again, then Spencer. Poor Brian. He later told me it was almost like WWIII was breaking out over what they were going to have for lunch. That's worth a battle, right??

I listened to the ruckus, then rolled over and looked at our peaceful little sleepy newborn next to me. Sweet little innocent baby girl... doesn't even hear the chaos, has no idea what's going on around here...

Life is definitely changing around here. Some of it positive, some of it we'll have to learn to deal with a little better, I guess. Everyone keeps asking how the Sammie and Spencer like the baby. Well, despite their increase in tantrums and whining, they really, really like Natalie, and have been very sweet with her. Spencer loves bringing me my water jug when I'm ready to feed Natalie. He also wants to hold her "by myself" -- which lasts about 3 seconds, just long enough to snap a fun picture like this...

Here he is, showing her his helicopter...

Sammie is such a sweet helper girl. When she holds Natalie, she really IS quite helpful. She loves to get things for me... a blanket, a diaper, the binky, etc. And she loves giving Natalie the softest little kisses on her cheeks and hands and head. It's so cute to watch her be the "little mommy."

And yet, there also seems to be some upheaval for both our older kids. They sense some of this "change" I've been speaking of, and they're not sure what to do with it. So, the littlest things become a battle -- even worse than before (which I thought was pretty bad, when I was 9 mos preggo). But I'm reassured by friends and family all the time, that it's just a phase and we'll just have to wait it out while trying to find new ways to maintain some structure around here. Right?? I'm sure that's all true... patience. patience.

Well, so, back to Sunday... Poor Brian got the worst of it from the "unsettled older siblings," while I laid there in the other room, just basking in the Newborn Bliss for awhile. But he eventually got his spell, too, thank goodness...

Meet Natalie...

Natalie Karen Bishop

Born: Oct 5, 2010

Time: 7:28 a.m.

Weight: 7 lbs 4 oz

Height: 20 inches

Hair: red

She's gorgeous, and yes, her hair is so very red and so cute and wispy. She looks a lot like Samantha and one of these days I'll have to do some comparison shots from Sam's first days. I have so much I want to write about these last few wonderful day. I was already so behind, and now here I am getting even further behind. Thank goodness Brian was able to put up a few pics while I was in the hospital with Natalie. I hope to add more of the details... soon. For now, just some more fun pictures...

First family picture with Natalie. (Sammie was pouting because... I don't remember why, she just does that a lot lately. A stage?)

Going home from the hospital. It's amazing how small they are in the car seat on that first day, eh?

How did this one get sideways? Oh well. I'll change it later. This one really shows off that red hair!

Adoring visitors. I love this shot, of all the cousins waiting for their turn to hold Natalie.

More to come... really!!

Here's the girl!

Announcing baby girl Bishop! She was born this morning (5 Oct. 2010) at 7:28 am, at West Valley Medical Center in Caldwell, ID. She weighed 7 lb 4 oz and was 20 inches long. You might be able to see from the pictures that she has a nice crop of red hair on top. Both mother and baby are doing very well. I've included a few photos below of mother and daughter.

some random thoughts when I should be sleeping

So, this will be a short, random entry. I've just been thinking for the past several days in a row -- about the book, "The Good Earth" by Pearl S Buck. Familiar with it, perhaps? Well, here I am, soooo heavy and uncomfortable, about to give birth to my third child. And I just keep thinking of O-Lan -- the wife in the book, and her third birth experience.

Remember she has two sons, and her husband is so proud and pleased, and their births are so meaningful and special? Then their circumstances change, and they're in the middle of a really tense harvest when that third baby is due. I can't remember exactly, but it seems like if they don't get their field harvested at just the right time, they'll lose everything -- or something terrible like that.

Well, I just keep thinking of poor O-Lan out there in the field on her hands and knees, helping her husband with the harvest when she goes into labor. Then she just waits out the labor while working there in the field, until she's ready to deliver. When the baby is just about to come, she quickly goes inside to give birth -- much to her husband's annoyance. She's gone from the field as long as it takes to deliver, then comes right back out to finish up the day in the field. All she says to her husband about the birth is, "It's a girl."

Not sure why that image of that poor woman in the field keeps coming back to me. Sounds so terrible, and soooo not like anything at all I'm experiencing, or even like anything I've really HEARD about in real life. But still... what a book, to paint such a picture, eh? It's been years since I read it, but I still remember that scene.

It's been a bit of a rough week, though also good in many ways. I've got a lot done, but I've also been "stretched" a bit more than I care to be, both physically and emotionally. I don't know that I'm fully prepared for this baby -- her room is not exactly "ready" and I still think there are some things we still need. sigh. But I'm certainly ready to just be done with this pregnancy. My emotions are so topsy-turvy, and my sleep deprivation is starting to weigh on my decision-making abilities. Poor family of mine who is living with my moment-to-moment ups and downs. I keep losing my temper, poor Sammie, especially. Plus, I threw my hip out a few days ago, so now I'm hobbling around like I did before Spencer came... again. bleh.

The other night I happened upon that scripture that talks about ultimate destruction in the last days, and how those who are "heavy with child" will be unable to flee and will be "trodden down under the foot of man." Oh, I can imagine what that would be like, and thank goodness that's not me right now! I mean, thank goodness there is no ultimate destruction going on around here, or that WOULD be me, and that would be awful.

On another not-so-fun note, I have to admit, I've been somewhat whimpery/whiney lately about something else. I guess I've been feeling a little "forgotten" by some people I care about. I know the pregnancy makes things seem worse than they are -- when I get down I really feel it more than I should. And I know I feel a bit more needy when I'm pregnant, just all around, eh? But more than just pregnancy woes... I also just hate the feeling that I'm losing touch with so many people in my life who have made my life meaningful.

I like to stay in touch, I like to feel like the friendships that have been so special to me will always be special , to me, and to my friends -- even with distance and different circumstances. I know things change and people get caught up in every-day life around them... that happens to me too. But I just wish there was a better way to stay close. I wish there was a better way to cherish those friendships and memories without feeling like I'm living in the past too much, or like I'm the "clingy" one, or something. I like how President Monson said recently, "I am a man of memories." I feel like that, and I love all the memories that mean so much to me. But sometimes I think maybe I'm the only one?

Have you ever called a friend who used to be soooo very close, but then, somehow time and change and life just pulled you in different directions? Then, one day, without realizing it, when you call to talk, you're in such a different spot from each other, it's hard to even know what to talk about? I wonder how to bridge that distance, recapture the essence of that relationship, and feel the sincerity of real friendship again, without just wishing back the past? Because honestly, it's not that I wish back the past. But I do still want the feelings of gratitude and sincere friendship to be real -- no matter how long it's been, no matter how many miles come between, no matter whose turn it is to call.

I'm not trying to sound overly pouty here. Actually, I'm not that frustrated or sad about this right now. But it is something that keeps coming to my mind lately. And I wish I had a better answer for myself, about how to stay connected ... and I'm not talking about facebook or texting or any of "the means." Just reflecting on "the end," I guess, and wishing I knew better how to be -- and keep -- true friends.

Anyway, I believe this post would make more sense if I took time to write it in the light of day, rather than starting it at midnight. But for now, this is my rambling of the night, with a baby kicking uncomfortably inside me, still -- for a few more nights. Good night all!

ps. don't feel like you have to respond here and tell me that I DO have friends who care, I'm not forgotten, etc. I promise, I'm not "fishing" here. I'm just putting some ramblings up here, ya know?