Special Days

A few weeks after we moved here, I was telling Samantha and Spencer a "story from when I was little" as their bedtime story. I told them about a trip I took with some of my cousins, and how, in their family, they had Special Days. These cousins of mine had seven kids in their family. So, each day of the week it was someone's Special Day. That meant, the "Special" kid could pray or choose someone to pray at meals, sit in the front seat of the car, and pick a little "special" something he or she wanted to do (like, play with a friend, play his/her game of choice, eat some kind of treat, etc.)

Well. The idea was FASCINATING to my kiddos! And so... we now have "Special Days." Samantha's is Tuesday, and Spencer's is Thursday. At first, I kind of wondered, what did I get myself into?! But actually, it's been kind of fun. We don't really do that much stuff we wouldn't normally be doing already. But the kids look forward to it, and they feel like they're helping to make the plan for the day.

Here's some of the things we've done for Special Days...

-- Found a new park, with some VERY cool toys

Natalie's first swing ride... she was a BIG fan!

-- Walked to the bridge to see the turtle in our pond

He's kinda hard to see, but I promise, there's a HUGE turtle in that pond, about as big around as a large trash can lid. And he has a really long neck, too. I think you can mainly see his neck in this picture...

-- Rode our bikes at the beach

(my personal favorite, and probably theirs, too)

There's a great boardwalk, all along the beach near our house. Perfect for biking!

Oh, and, Samantha's friend from church gave her this little two-wheeler, no training wheels. She got on and had no trouble whatsoever riding it, from the very first try! Wow.

-- Took a "just for fun" bath in the middle of the day

(one of their last all-together baths... Samantha's starting to take them on her own now... growing up so fast. sniff sniff.)

-- Read extra stories together before bedtime

And, some other "Special Days" we didn't catch on film...

-- Walked to Dunkin Donuts for pink donuts with sprinkles

-- Played at McDonalds playland

-- Went to Central Park to play in the sandbox

-- Watched a movie in bed with mom, even staying up after bedtime

-- Went to the library

It's fun. And, actually, it kind of helps with some of the little sibling fights... "Spencer gets the red one, because it's his Special Day." "Samantha gets the last jelly bean, because it's her Special Day." "Spencer can go first, because it's his Special Day." "Samantha can choose which she wants, it's her Special Day."

I even claim my own Special Day, occasionally... I tell them we're going to go shopping and they have to be extra good even when we're just looking at boring mommy clothes and such, because it's my Special Day. They're very good about it, a nice surprise!

The only drawback is when we can't actually do what they'd like, for their Special Day. Like, umm... Spencer seems to think it's a "Make a Wish" list. Several times a day, I hear, "Mom. You know what, on my special day??Umm... go to McDonalds." Then five minutes later, again, "You know what on my Special Day? Umm... go to Wal-mart." And again, "Umm... watch Thomas the Train." And my favorite so far, "Ummm... go on an airplane." ha! We'll save that last one for a few months, eh?!

Anyway, Saturday is Brian's first Special Day: he starts a week of vacation! Yay!! Wish us luck, making it very extra Special!!

Money Matters

Wow. First, thanks for the feedback about what I should blog about. I know this blog is mainly for me, right? But I'm always interested to know what others find interesting. So, thanks!! :)

This post is a little different than my normal stuff. Since we moved here, it seems like I've had money on my mind a lot more. It could be that Brian's so busy that I've (begrudgingly) taken over doing most of the bills -- so I "see" the money a bit more? It could be that I'm constantly comparing what things cost in Idaho, to how much they cost here. It could be that New York is just an expensive place, and I've still got "sticker shock." It could be that we're finally MAKING money instead of just burning our savings away, and yet we're still not really gaining much. It could be that we moved into a VERY affluent area and I'm much more aware of how some people spend, because they have it to spend.

It could be a combination of all those things. Most likely, it is. Well, whatever the reason, I just feel like some of my observations are interesting, maybe somewhat amusing, and worth sharing. But it still feels a little weird for me to be talking about money, because I don't usually do it. So, if you get embarrassed for me on some of this...

well, a-hem.

First little story...

A few weeks ago I looked up a few consignment stores in the area and took the kids with me to check out one of them. It was an upper-end clothing and shoes consignment store, with prices ranging from $5 - $100 for gently used items. It was just me, my kids, and the store owner in the store -- super nice lady. She started helping me find clothes that will fit my body, even though I'm not a size 4, 6, 8... She pulled out several pairs of capris and jeans, and lots of tops. Each time she pulled out a new top, she'd say "oh, and here's another Anthropologie, here's a Testament that would fit you, here's a Puella that's kind of cute..." $15 for one shirt. $22 for another, and so on.

I smiled politely and took all the clothes to try on, even though the only name I recognized was JJill. Am I so disconnected with fashion that I really have no idea what the hot brands even are?? Apparently so. I was browsing through the "grab bag $5 bin" at the back of the store before I left, and I saw a cute black jacket that was my size. Not bad for $5, I thought. I decided to get it, along with some $3 Sonoma t-shirts (Kohls, of course), and a few other shirts that were some of those name brands she'd mentioned. As I put the jacket on the counter to pay for it, the owner lady got all excited for me and said, "Oh!! Is that that Eileen Fisher jacket?! What a steal, eh?! I'm so glad it fits you! Can't beat that, -- just take it to the cleaners, or press it yourself, and... wow. Eileen Fisher for just five bucks, huh?!"

I acted like I knew what a find I had found. Even though I was clueless and, again, had never heard of Eileen Fisher. (Have you??) So, I looked for her line online the other night. Found a jacket like the one I just got, only mine's black, and a little bigger :) ...

And how much is the online catalog price for this little beauty?? $278.

Wow. Who knew? And the testament shirt I got for $18. I love it (and thanks for the compliment, Alysa)...

I know, this was in my last post, but I had to put it up again, now that I'm actually talking about the shirt. It's pretty cute, I think. I looked online and found a similar cut Testament shirt for $98. For a t-shirt.

Wow. I'm just not into spending like that. Nor do I ever plan to be. It kinda blows my mind that nice, designer clothes actually cost that much. And that people have money to buy clothes off the rack at those "new clothes" prices. And that they actually SPEND it on that.

And at the same time, I have to say, that shirt fits really nicely. It hangs well and feels so light and comfortable. So do the others that I bought. It makes me want to go back to that little store and see if she has any more like it (which I bet she DOES). Maybe she even has some more Eileen Fisher stuff ... now that I know what that means. ha! Not that I don't like the designer clothes -- just not the prices.

I remember having a conversation with a friend once -- not anyone really close -- about clothes and shopping. She said, "I never thought I'd like to spend a lot of money for nice, good quality clothes. But then I tried on some nice, good quality clothes. And they fit me so much better. They just felt good on me. Now... it's really hard to *not* by the good stuff."

Hmm... lucky for me, fashion isn't really my thing. And really, I'm okay with my ignorance of the fancy brands. But being here, being surrounded by a really high fashion standard, it does give me pause for thought... and for blogging. ha! You should see the lovely shoes on some of the ladies at church, oh my! I could write a post just about the shoes... but not this post.

Next little story...

I went to drop off some paperwork to the school nurse at Samantha's new school. She (the nurse) was super nice and friendly. She gave me a referral card for her family's dentist and was telling me about our town and surrounding area. "Have you got your daughter signed up for a summer camp yet?" she asked. I kind of shrugged, so she gave me a booklet about "Summer Fun in Westchester County." She started telling me about how there were lots of different camp options, but it'd be kind of late to get registered for most of them. Then, she said, "Oh, actually, Harrison City offers a camp that has a later registration. It's nothing great, but it's so cheap. It's only, like, $300 for the week. So, if your daughter didn't want to go one of the days or it got really hot or something... well, you know... you wouldn't be out any money, right?"

Umm... okay. Except, yes, we would be out $300. I'm sorry, but that still feels like a lot of money to me. For a five-year-old. For a one-week summer day camp thing that's "nothing great." The school nurse went on to tell me that "some of those private day camps can start to get a little bit pricey... You know... $5 or 6 THOUSAND dollars."

Umm... okay. So now I understand. ... I guess $300 is "so cheap" in comparison. But really, to me, it's still $300! -- Five fill-ups with gas (also on the pricey side, now that I think of it), three weekly grocery trips, or two month's worth of utilities.

It's the same with the community pool here... $700 for the summer. Means me and my two kids can swim at two different outdoor pools all summer long. And that's "such a deal" according to a mom in the park, because it's so much more reasonable than the nearby Rye Country Club, which is $3000 -- as in THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS to swim in their outdoor park and pool. (And, of course, there's an out-of-city additional fee we'd have to pay at Rye, since we live in Harrison -- a lady we met while we were out walking tonight told me about that nice little add-on, thanks.)

It's the same with preschool prices... A lady in our ward is doing preschool right now, charging $150 per month for two days a week. She's on the lower end. Someone else is doing one next year and will be charging $185. But either of those options is soooo much more reasonable than any of the private preschools around here. I hear they charge in the thousands. per month... haven't actually verified that yet, so I could be wrong. But still, I guess I really do have sticker shock. Sammie's Spanish Immersion program (back in Caldwell) was pretty pricey to me -- $90 a month. Sorry Spence, you're getting Joy School. :) Or, maybe *I* should start teaching preschool???

I know, I know... New York is just an expensive place. Yes, it's true. But the fact is, my same dollars still mean as much to me here as they did in Idaho. And yet they don't buy nearly as much here, at all! Those dollars just seem to stretch so much farther, almost anywhere besides here, eh? Seems almost wasteful, to spend more for less. But that's what it feels like here. Kind of a downer, when I stop to think about it. (But don't worry... I try not to!)

I'm sure I had more to say about this, but it's not coming easily. Probably because I don't write or talk about money very often. And probably I don't talk about it much because we all see money from a different vantage point, depending on how much we have, how much we need, how much we spend, etc. Right? Well, then. Enough said, for now.

The Beach.

It happened, finally! Brian had a WHOLE WEEKEND where he didn't have to work. At all! Well, actually I think he may have checked his email a few times, but it was on the sly and didn't involve hours of isolation. So!!! We finally had some time together as a family. And it was wonderful.

We slept in Saturday morning. (Actually it was mainly Brian who slept in, since Natalie didn't get the memo, and the kids -- and I-- wake up as soon as they hear her.) We made delicious french toast for breakfast (Brian kinda missed that part too, but we saved him some). Then, we packed up a picnic lunch and went to the beach. It was lovely. And here are the pictures, to prove it.

First, here's our beach, so fun! With Long Island off in the distance...

And, presenting.... the man of the hour! Not even toting his Blackberry (at least not visibly!)...

Happy Lady. VERY happy.

Water was cold, but the sand was what the kids came for anyway...

I love her smile... She didn't even know we were taking this one, but she was just in a really good mood. (Aside, all those cute little "parts" in her hair for her twisty braids got sunburned. Ouch and oops.)

Natalie wasn't quite sure what to think of the beach.

Or the sun...

Or the sand...

She got her fill in the first half hour, then crashed out in her stroller...

Brian and the kids build a sand tower. It was going to be a castle, but that was proving to be a very tricky endeavor. So, they opted for a tower instead. Here's Brian, carefully packing the bottom layer, with Spence in the background, bringing him another bucket of water to firm things up...

And, um, I accidentally knocked the tower over before we got a picture of it. Oops. But it was cool. Looked like a three layer wedding cake, and Samantha even decorated part of it with seashells.

Then Daddy buried them.

They LOVED it!

Then Samantha helped Brian bury Spencer up to his neck.

He thought that was the cooooolest!

Until Sammie "broke his sand" and ran off like a bandit. Hahaha...

Ah, what more can I say? It was a lovely afternoon. We ate a picnic lunch, stayed until it got a little bit chilly and overcast, then packed up and drove home (5 minutes, no joke!) It started to rain just as we got home... perfect timing!

Blog ideas? Let's vote.

Kay, so I have lots of ideas of things I'd like to blog about, but I'm not making time to blog these days. Anyone noticed?? Well, I was thinking, maybe I could put up some of my topic ideas, and see if any of my faithful readers might have suggestions about what I should do for my next posts. Any takers? Well, here's my list of topics I'm considering right now:

-- Money Matters

-- About Blogging

-- Kids' Stats, and other random stuff to remember

-- Beach and Other Outings

-- "Special" Days

-- More about the Neighborhood

-- Internal Anxieties

I've seriously been thinking of writing something about each of those topics. Any that would be more interesting than others? I guess I'm curious what it is people like to see on my blog. Not that I have THAT many readers/followers. But maybe there's something that you'd like to hear about??? Let me know...

Neighbors

We've been in our house for a month and a half now. Time to write about our neighbors, though I'm not sure there's all that much to write, really. As you know, our house is a duplex, you probably remember from "the tour," right? That means, we have neighbors right through the wall on one side.

At first it kind of bothered me. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. every day, listening to someone next door creeping down their stairs and out the door to work. And at bed time I was super self conscious, knowing they could hear me raising a motherly voice at my less-than-cooperative children on those not-so-easy single-mom nights. I guess I'm now used to all that, and I'm less self-conscious about my "pitch" after overhearing a doozy of an argument through their bedroom wall one night.

Anyway, one of our first afternoons in our new place, Samantha looked out the back window and saw a little girl getting on a two-wheeled bike, and an older man putting a toddler in a stroller. Sammie was running for the coat closet, ready to grab her jacket and go meet them. I held her back, because the little "party" was obviously off to somewhere. I told her we'd wait a few days and then probably meet them.

Next encounter, I was pushing the kids in the trusty sit-n-stand, and we were just getting back from CVS when I noticed our neighbor was getting into his car -- the same older gentleman. I hurried my pace, so I could ask him about the garbage cans (two cans, which was ours, when was garbage day, etc.) I waved at him, just as he was closing his car door. He looked at me, waved back, and sat waiting to back up his car. I motioned toward the garbage cans and shrugged, as if to ask "can you tell me what the garbage situation is??" and he just looked at me, didn't roll down the window or anything. I gestured again, and he waved briefly and drove away. Okay. Maybe the gesturing about the garbage was the wrong tack??

This was weeks ago. We still haven't really met. But the kids have, of course. I mean, we share a back yard. It was inevitable, right? Turns out the family is from China, and the grandparents are living with the family. The older man in the car? he's the grandpa, speaks no English other than "thank you" and "cookie," as far as I can tell. (Guess that explains why he wasn't too eager to explain about the garbage cans?) The girl is Kathrine and she's 7. The toddler is Justin, he's 2.

Kathrine and Samantha hit it off. They started playing together in the afternoons after Kathrine gets home from school. At first, it seemed like it was just the two of them-- and Spencer on the side, doing his own thing. And then, after a few days, I noticed some other little girls would join them. Now, they're over here fairly often -- at least two or three days a week, if it's not rainy.

Usually, I sit in our living room with the patio doors open to the back deck while they play. I listen to them, and occasionally go out to make sure they're doing okay. They play a lot of hide-and-seek, a tag game called "witchy," and sometimes pretend to "plant a garden" or "bake a cake" out of leaves and twigs from around the yard. It's been fun to see Samantha light up when she's with her new friends.

Only, there's the down side... Samantha is the youngest. And she's the new kid. And she's not allowed to leave our yard (mean mom!). So, she sometimes gets the raw end of the neighborhood friends deal, especially when the other girls run back and forth between several houses that are right next to ours. But she puts up with it okay.

Sometimes the older girls don't want her to play, or she's just a little young for their games (jumping rope is a tricky one for her). So, she's had her feelings hurt a few different times. That's ROUGH for a mom to watch. But I gotta hand it to Samantha --- she's really resilient! If some older kids had told me I couldn't play when I was little, I'm sure I wouldn't have shown my face for weeks. Not Sammie; it's happened a few different times. Each time, she comes inside, has a little cry, changes her clothes, tells me "it's okay, I'm just the new girl, and they're not used to me." And she's off again, laughing and playing with them like nothing happened! Wow. Is she really mine?? ;)

I took some pictures of the kids playing in the back yard a few weeks ago. Can you pick out Samantha? heeheh...

Kinda funny --Sammie's the only pasty white girl from Idaho. All the other girls are Asian (mostly Japanese, some Chinese). I find it interesting to watch them play and I've learned a bit about their cultures from the way they play together.

On this day, I counted nine little dark-haired girls, and Samantha...

Okay, so I guess I'm finally getting to the real reason for this post...

See, I didn't grow up with neighbor kids. It was just my brothers and me, and our two cousins who lived next door. Other than that, we were on a lane with lots of farms and lots of older people. Frankly, I'm still not sure how to handle the whole "neighbors" thing. I feel extremely protective and nervous about having my babies out there interacting with the other kids on the block. Is that normal??

I mean, I watch these little girls traipsing back and forth up and down our road, playing games and wandering back and forth together and I wonder, do all their mothers know each other? Are they comfortable letting their daughters go into each others' houses? Am I just the overprotective small-town mother who wants to keep an "ear" on every game they play? I mean, none of their mothers knows me -- does that matter?

I'm just not sure what I think about this whole "neighbors" business. But my instinct, for now, is to go ahead and be the mean mom who doesn't let my kids leave the yard. And go ahead and be the mom who is always within ear shot and often "checking in" with my babies. Am I right?

Oh, I'm sure I have more to say on this subject, but writing about my motherly responsibilities reminds me that my kids are downstairs, plugged into "Super Why" on Netflix while I blog. Better get back to mothering for now. But here's my introduction to our neighbors. Stay tuned...

why we have a bed rail...

I know he looks slightly uncomfortable, but I couldn't resist getting a picture or two of him!

I repositioned him after I was done with the camera.

:)

Just something quick

I have pictures to upload and things to write, I'm sure. But not at this hour. Instead, here's my short two bits from the past few days, just for fun...

Natalie -- This morning, I opened a new pack of gum, and Samantha, Spencer and I all sampled a piece (Extra, key lime -- had it? It's tasty, for about 5 mins. till it loses its flavor and goes hard.) Anyway, the kids love it when I blow bubbles, and Spencer always asks me to "do dat fing again, with your gum." So, I was blowing lots of bubbles for him and Sammie. Then, later, I was holding Natalie on my lap -- just me and my babe -- and I popped a little bubble without thinking about it. She looked really surprised, so I blew a nice, big bubble for her to see how she'd react. To MY surprise, she held her breath, her face went red, and then she burst into tears and kind of started shaking. She pulled away from me and seemed like she was trying her best to get off my lap somehow. She was absolutely TERRIFIED of the bubble!!! It was so sad, but so funny to me. I was trying to comfort her, but I also couldn't stop laughing. Even after it popped and I kept my gum out of sight, in my mouth, she just kept looking at me, crying hysterically, and then turning away -- like she couldn't stand to see me. I almost wanted to do it again, to catch it on video or camera or something, but I didn't. But it was really funny. My poor little scared baby girl. No bubbles for her, please!

Spencer -- We went to the dollar store today. I told Sam and Spence they could each pick one special item that we would buy for a treat. (I'm so generous, eh!?) Well, Spencer immediately picked a plastic tractor toy. And Samantha picked a water noodle -- you know, one of those long tubes that floats in the pool? Well, they wandered around the store with their "items" and within just a few minutes, Sammie had talked Spencer into getting a water noodle too. So, he put his tractor back and we got the noodles for both. (Good. Less fighting over toys, I hope.) Well, so we got home tonight and as I tucked Spencer in bed he asked, "Mom, can you open up my tractor now?" "Tractor? what tractor?" "My tractor. From the store." "Ummmm... we didn't buy it, remember? You put it back and picked the water noodle instead." There was a long pause, and then the wailing started. Yes, he remembered putting it back, and he realized -- much too late -- that he would have preferred the tractor instead of the water noodle. He was devastated, as evidenced by his huge crocodile tears and sobbing. He really had a good crying fit, got pretty worked up, poor guy. First experience with buyer's regret, I guess? But me, well.... I walked out of the room chuckling to myself. Not sure why these things strike me as funny.

Samantha -- She is starting to develop a sense of humor, but it's a five-year-old sense of humor. In other words, it may take a bit more "developing" before others "get it." She tells knock-knock jokes... totally made up stuff out of her head. And "chicken crossing the road" jokes. None of them make any sense: knock knock? who's there? egg? egg who? egg tomato!! haahahahah!! Yep. That's what I'm talking about. Well, so the other day, I told her (after multiple knock-knock jokes as we were riding in the car), "Samantha, sometimes I think you are just too silly!" (I was kind of just trying to make conversation, because what else do you do when you really don't "get" her jokes yet??) Well, she sat in the back seat with a smug look on her face for quite some time, looking like she was taking in my comment, weighing its value. After a long, thoughtful pause she said, with a very excited smile, "Mom! I think being silly is one of my best talents!!" It was so cute, like she was just so proud of herself for discovering this great talent. I had to laugh -- but only to myself. Yep, this girl's got budding talent -- in silliness! (It's such a mom word, isn't it? -- silly.)

That's all for tonight. It's very late. Too late. In fact, when I reread any of this later, it may not make any sense at all. But it's all I've got right now. And I'm off to sleep. No Brian yet. 1:44 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Sigh. I really should sleep, even when he's not here, eh?

For Mothers Day

I've had a nice Mother's Day. We went to church, and my greatest gift was that we were on time!!! Only, we still weren't early enough to get a seat IN the chapel (small chapel). Spencer cried because we had to sit on the hard seats in the back... again. I only stayed up until sometime after 1a.m ironing clothes, laying out socks and shoes, packing the diaper bag, etc. to make sure we could have a smooth morning. ... guess it worked?

My gift? Well, Brian brought me flowers, very sweet. He actually brought them a few days ago, because he knew he'd be swamped this weekend. They're still lovely. Samantha "wrapped" up a binder clip and a hair elastic, with some curly ribbon. How thoughtful. And Spencer handed me a half-eaten, half-melted Hershey's kiss in the hall at church, then proceeded to wipe the other half of it all over his light tan suit. ha!

The REAL gift deserves a post all its own, when I'm on the right computer where I can upload pictures of it. But... since I'm not on that computer and don't intend to go get it. Well, I'll just tell you the excitingness.... It's a PIANO!! A digital piano, with so many fancy fun gadgets. How fun and exciting and wonderful! Okay, so it's not really a Mother's Day gift, per se. But I'm calling it one, since we got it this weekend (trusty old craigslist does the job yet again), and it makes the day seem so much more exciting. We'll have to do some rearranging in the living room to make it fit along with everything else. But it's soooo worth it! I can't wait to start playing again, and I want to start teaching Samantha, and recording sheet music of some of my arrangements. Oh so many plans! :)

Well, so I hope every mother (and woman) I know and love was able to feel loved appreciated on Mother's Day. In London, I liked that they called it "Mothering Sunday" -- seems to express so much appreciation for ALL the women who love and nurture and strengthen... and "mother."

I've never done this on my blog before, but tonight I want to write a little tribute to MY mother. Here goes...

My mother, Karen, is the oldest of ten children. (One brother died as a baby, she still remembers him). She was raised in Illinois until she was 13 years old. Her parents separated, and her mom took the kids (there were 7 then) and drove across the country to settle her family in Idaho and be close to members of her church and faith. I imagine making a journey like that and my jaw gapes open in amazement... single mom, one car, SEVEN kids, no home to go to, all their stuff. Wow. Okay, so that's more about my grandma than my mom. But still... amazing.

So, my mom's parents got back together within a few months, and had two more children together. My mom remembers taking care of the little ones while both her parents worked a lot. She's such a fun storyteller, I love hearing stories about her times growing up. She jumped over a lethal copperhead snake on her way to school when she was little once. She almost choked on an ice cube once. She tipped over on a chair backwards once. Her dad tethered her to a tree when she was a toddler -- his way of babysitting. Her mom threw her a surprise party for her birthday EVERY year, for years and years, and she was ALWAYS genuinely surprised! She got really sunburned on the backs of her legs when she was thinning beets one summer. All these seem like ordinary incidents, but the way she TELLS them makes them wonderfully entertaining stories. Ask her about getting hit in the nose by a hairbrush, or getting rolled under the bed on her birthday... Good stories. Always.

My mom worked hard as a teenager, and she had really good friends at school. She met my dad when she was 16. They dated for 2 1/2 years and my dad joined the church. They got married when she was 19 and he was 20. He was drafted into the military shortly after they were married, and served for a year in Vietnam. I think about how hard that must have been for them to be apart, wondering if they'd see each other again.

My parents didn't have children easily at first. They were married almost five years before my oldest brother came along. My mom talks about how she didn't even know she was expecting her first baby, because they had been waiting so long. But then... five children later, she was "The Mom."

Is this getting long? I want to tell about how fun it was to have such a great mother in my life as I grew up. She was always teaching, taking advantage of every opportunity to help us learn something new. She made me feel "smart" by teaching me whatever was interesting to me at the time, then "showing me off" -- letting my spout my newfound knowledge to whomever would listen. ha! One summer, she and her best friend set up "tours" to several places in our town to show us kids what "jobs" people do... We toured the police station, the fire station, the Albertsons bakery, the television station, etc., just 6-8 kids and our moms. What a cool mom, eh?! She also let us swim in our little ditch behind the house (we called it "the canal," even though it was only a few feet deep). And she let us climb trees and ride bikes without telling her where we were going and when we'd be back (within reason). She sang a "good morning" song to us every morning, and started each day with a cheery smile ... even those EARLY mornings.

When we were teenagers, she made our house "party central" -- where all our friends wanted to come hang out. She baked goodies almost nightly (brownies with nuts, and a fresh glass of oj was my favorite treat). She was a fun hostess and friend, without being too "overprotective" or "motherly." She encouraged us to be involved in school activities, to perform in public, to share our testimony and serve other people. She really trusted us as her children, and believed in our potential to do good things with our talents. I don't think she ever said, "I want you to grow up and be productive, contributing citizens who make a better society." But she showed it, by her interest in us and her enthusiasm for our accomplishments. She still does, in fact. If you ever look at my comments here on the blog, you can tell she's my biggest fan. What a treat!!

Most of you know I'm the only girl in my family. I have four brothers -- two older and two younger. If my youngest brother were a girl, they were going to name him Hailee Ann. But he was Trent, instead. (And I love him and wouldn't trade him for a Hailee now, of course.) Well, for years after Trent was born, I kept praying they would have just one more baby, because I sooo wanted a sister. Didn't happen. So, no sister for me.

I can tell all of you who have sisters, you really do have something special, something you shouldn't take for granted. There is nothing quite like a sister; I know because I don't have one. But don't feel sorry for me. Even though I feel bad about that sometimes, I have a mom who is and always has been the dearest sister to me. Once, when I was 12 or 13, I asked her -- a bit self consciously -- if she and I had been the same age, and she had known me when she was growing up, did she think she and I would have been friends? I was a little embarrassed to ask, but was needing some validation (remember middle school? enough said.) Well, she wrote me the sweetest letter about how wonderful she thought I was, and how she DEFINITELY would have been friends with me. She told me all the sweet, good things we had in common, and all the fun things that she admired about me. What a boost to my teenage confidence.

I've cherished the kind words of that letter, and believed them. I have realized that with time and experience together over so many years, my mom and I have really become best friends -- like sisters. She doesn't even give me "motherly naggings" anymore... does that make sense? I mean, I don't even curl my hair, but she never says anything about it. ha! :) We know we're different and I think we appreciate those differences and learn from each other. She's the person I call when I've had a rough day with the kids. She's the one who gives me "the latest" about all the goings-on in our family. She "gets" my jokes, puts up with my whinings, and sends me care packages. She gets excited when I find a good deal at a thrift store, and thinks it's hilarious that I love the colors orange and yellow, just like her!

Wow. I just love her to pieces. She is a remarkable woman who sometimes doesn't give herself enough credit. (We all do that, don't we?) But I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful mother. Especially now that I'M a mother, I appreciate her ever so much more. Thanks, Mom, for being my sister and my friend, and my mother.

A few pictures of my mother dear... Oh, and these are all off the "old" computer, so, well... they're older pics. But she still looks just as lovely!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Love, Kamalaine.

Afterthoughts

Wow! So many fun comments to read from so many people I love and miss. Thanks everyone, for checking in. I always wonder when I write a long "wordy" post if people are just going to be bored and skip to the pictures. Good to know some of you are interested in reading, too! :)

I just have a few more thoughts to share, while I've been "taking my emotional temperature"... I keep thinking of some more of the things I'm *NOT* doing, that are giving me a bit of a boost. Including...

-- I am NOT pregnant right now. In fact, Brian keeps commenting about how "up" I am and how surprised he is, since he hasn't seen me this way in a long time. Well, I was pregnant for a long time, then nursing for a long time. Those two things are very hard things for me. I'm still nursing part-time, but I'm feeling much more "normal" these days, more like myself again. That, coupled with more restful sleep and a little bit healthier body (not counting the 7-8 truffles I ate today, dumb Costco with its French fineries) ... well, it all just makes me feel happier. I write this partly for the pregnant ladies who may read along and say, "why don't I feel like that?!" And also, for the eventuality that I may in fact, one day, be pregnant again, and may need a reminder that it's hard work and it does make me feel not so "perky." ... But it's not permanent. Enough about that, I guess.

-- I also am not having anyone over to visit. In the 6 weeks that we've been in our place, y'all have seen more of its insides (online... scroll back if you missed "the tour") than almost everyone who lives within 1000 miles of me. I've had one official visitor -- my friend Debbie, who was my good, good friend in London and is someone with whom I feel comfortable sharing my mess (compliment to you, Debbie!) Other than that, my mess is my mess and I am much less stressed about it than I've ever let myself be in the past... because no one is seeing it but me and the little people who make it. Not even Brian, for 95% of the time (sad, but true).

Now, I'm not saying I don't want to make friends and eventually invite people over. No, that's important and something I do enjoy very much. I'm also not saying that I live like a complete slob since no one is watching. But ... I'm realizing that there is something relieving (if not relaxing) about letting myself be comfortable with the train set and markers on the living room floor, and dishes in the sink, and unfolded laundry in our bedroom -- for the entire day and sometimes all night. Ya know? When other people have to see it too (like our landlord did this a.m.), it kinda stresses me out. So, right now, I'm enjoying the "less stressful" side of having no one I know well enough to come on over.

-- This next one is well... it's probably not going to last, and I don't want it to last, but it's been nice for a change of pace. I'll just say it then. One thing I've enjoyed this last while is not having a calling at church. I got released from serving with the primary children a few weeks before we left Idaho (middle of February, I think?) So, I've been "unemployed" in the church for nearly three months now. I'm not saying I don't want to be involved and serve in the church. But I am appreciative of a little break. I'm glad to go to Sunday School and Relief Society meetings and just concentrate on being "nourished" for awhile here. That said, I don't thing I'd be nearly so grateful for this time if I hadn't also been very involved in serving in the church, and if I didn't plan and hope to serve again soon. I guess I'm just seeing this as a little "feed myself, spiritually" time for me. And I'm enjoying the reprieve/renewal. And, while I'm talking about it, I might as well say I'd like to lobby for a piano calling, please. Wouldn't that be nice? :)

-- I also have to add, I'm not seeing nearly enough of Brian. That's not part of my "happy" list at all, but it's the cold, hard truth. He is soooo very busy. For those of you who followed this blog when we were in London, you know he worked very hard there, right? Well, this is harder, longer, more weekend work and less catch-up time. It's a really rough stretch for him, and I don't know how to make it better for him. But one thing I'm doing (that will fit in with my list, I guess?) is... I'm not counting the hours he isn't sleeping. I used to do that; in London, I'd make a weekly list of his hours of sleep -- 4 hrs on Mon, 5.5 hrs Tues, 3.5 hrs Weds. Then, at the end of the week I'd total it up and say, only 27 hrs, or whatever... if he were sleeping 8 hrs a night, he should be sleeping 56 hrs per week.

Well.

I'm NOT doing that anymore. It was not a good thing for him, or for me. So, at least I feel I'm doing better at not focusing on that nasty little detail. That's a good thing, right??

So, I think those are all my little "extras" I wanted to include after reading everyone's comments, and rereading my bits from earlier. Yep. Life is good, and I'm trying hard to let myself enjoy it. And, I'm hoping after this next deal Brian will have more time to enjoy it with me, and our kidses.

Mindless Introspection

I’ve been going through a good phase lately. I’m feeling good, satisfied, happy. Sometimes, when Brian’s home and we have a few hours to be together as a family, I’m almost even giddy. It’s a great place to be, somewhere I haven’t been for awhile.

We’ve had so much personal unrest in that past several months – just trying to sort out Brian’s career and chart a course that works for us as a family. We’re at an in-between “calm” right now (aka, still not sure what the five-year-plan looks like, but going steady on the day-to-day routine and family expectations, at least for now). And I’m grateful for the respite. I like to think of myself as a positive person, generally. Or, at least not a negative person. But I have had some not-so-fun unsettled “downs” this past year. I’m glad to not be having those right now.

I like where we live. I like the spring colors all around us. I like the people I’m meeting at church and in our town. I like our little neighborhood and village. There’s a CVS and Dunkin Donuts within walking distance, not to mention two parks and Samantha’s school. What’s not to like, huh?

Well, actually, there are things not to like (like Brian’s horrendous schedule and our leaky washing machine) but I’m doing pretty well at trying not to focus on those things. I used to be so analytical all the time. I mean, like waaaay back. … In college, and before I was married, I remember constantly monitoring “why” I felt the way I did.

I don’t do that much anymore. And I’m not planning to do it here. But, I have felt it might be beneficial just to jot down some of what I’m doing and not doing right now, in relation to the way I feel about my life, so I can reference a little list when I need a pick-me-up on some future down day. So…

What I’m doing...

-- Reading lots of stories with my kids. We spend lots of spare time on the couch together reading their favorite books or doing activity workbooks together. Today Sammie and I read Roald Dahl stories for over an hour while the other two napped. I want to get the Ramona Quimby books from the library; I think Samantha’s going to LOVE them!

-- Drinking a “green drink” almost every day. Yep. The kind with spinach and avocado. And I like it, surprise! I just want to be a little more healthy, maybe get rid of some of that extra baby weight, I hope.

-- Shopping at Trader Joe’s. That store just makes me happy! They have so many good things that taste good and are good for me, too. I don’t shop there all the time, but I like to get there fairly often. Good eats, and really competitive prices to other grocery stores around here.

-- Napping when I need to, which is less than I used to. I’m growing out of that newborn/nursing up-all-night need for sleep, finally!

-- Praying more often and more sincerely. I could certainly do better still, but I’ve come a ways and it’s making a difference.

-- Listening/watching General conference reruns. I put on some of the talks I want to remember, while I’m working at night from time to time. It’s very therapeutic and uplifting.

-- Getting out and enjoying the sunshine, when we have it. Yesterday the kids and I spent the entire afternoon wandering around Central Park. It was lovely. Just wish Brian could have joined us.

-- Holding my baby as she goes to sleep at night. We’ve developed a bit of a pattern, where I get all the kids into pajamas, then tell Samantha and Spencer they can look at books quietly in their room while I nurse Natalie. I love this quiet time with my baby. I want to memorize her little face, the way she feels snuggled up next to me, the softness of her tiny, sticky hands around my fingers. It has such a calming effect on me, that few minutes with her each night.

-- Holding Spencer when he asks. He’s a snuggle-buddy for sure! And he gets pretty whiny and dependent at times. I’d been trying to get him to be more independent and less clingy, but I’ve decided to just give him that one-on-one time when he asks so sweetly, “I want you to hold me.” It’s hard, especially when he often asks it while I’m on the phone, cooking dinner and doing dishes simultaneously. But I’m trying.

-- Leaving dishes in the sink sometimes. I like to have a clean kitchen when I go to bed each night. But sometimes I’ve discovered it’s okay to leave them till morning. No one is stopping by, and they’ll certainly wait for me. I do dishes when I feel like it, and leave them when I don’t.

What I’m not doing...

-- Laundry. Our washer leaks and we’re supposed to get a new one on Friday. It’s been leaky since we moved in, so I’ve been quite negligent at my laundry chores. I let it pile, then do several loads so we can survive. I have to mop up the floor after most loads. It’s kinda nice to not be staying “on top” of it right now.

-- Playing the piano. I miss it more than I expected. I even volunteered to play in Relief Society at church this past Sunday, just because I really want to play again. Too bad the piano was terribly out of tune. Oh well.

-- Doing Samantha’s hair every day. If we’re not going somewhere, I let her hair go. It’s just not worth the fight sometimes. And it makes it easier to “bargain” with her when I DO decide to do it up nicely.

-- Talking to many friends very often. I talk to my mom all the time, but I don’t get many other phone calls. I get a little lonely sometimes, but I try not to dwell on it.

-- Counting how many poopy diapers I change each day. I was, for awhile, and I started feeling irritated and annoyed each time one of my kids filled up their pants again. So I stopped counting, and I just change each diaper as it comes. Much less stressful, I decided.

-- Cleaning my bathrooms. Not recently, anyway. They need a good cleaning by now, and I fully intend to get to that soon. But I’m not letting it bother me, the fact that they’re not spic and span.

-- Staying up until Brian gets home. I’m still up a lot of the time when he gets home, but I try not to “wait up” for him. We both seem to function better if at least one of us is getting some good rest. Hopefully one of these nights it will be him, too.

-- Pining for Idaho. I miss family, and I miss “home” – especially for my kids. But I’m okay being away for now, not feeling so much homesickness as I expected. I think that’s a good thing.

-- Helping Brian very much. I wish I knew what to do to help him. He is so very weary and worn with his work lately. He sleeps very little and spends very little time with us. And yet, he’s always so patient and calm and giving. He watched the kids on Saturday morning so I could go to the temple. I need to figure out ways to support him better, I know. Being positive helps. But there must be more. I make his lunches, that counts for something, eh? And last weekend I ironed several of his shirts... must count for something, no?? :)

-- Taking many pictures. Our camera battery has been on “almost empty” for a long time now. Finally, Brian took it to work and charged it for us yesterday, so hopefully we’ll start using it again!

This is a ramble of a post, I know. I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts of late, in case anyone out there wonders. :)

More of Natalie

These are for my mom...

And, a few fun ones of Spencer and Sammie, too. Only, I can't get most of them to turn the right way. Sorry!