(I wrote this entry yesterday, but didn't get it uploaded until today -- Monday. For those interested, here are my thoughts on Mothers Day this year...)
That should have warned me that the rest of the day might be the same. If I had been sufficiently aware, I could have had my good cry right after choir practice and gotten it out of my system. Instead, I teared up sufficiently during each talk at sacrament meeting, and again cried all the way through our choir piece. I was able to pull myself together and accept the "mother's" gift at the end of our meeting. Did anyone else get chocolate for their Mother's Day?!? We got the BIG bars of Hersheys. (Brian was pleased the I ended up with a Cookies n Cream bar.)
The real "joy" (meant to be read totally sarcastically) at church today was Samantha. The last few weeks, she's been doing the typical toddler thing where she doesn't want to go to her primary class at church. Most kids go through that when they start nursery at 18-months. Well, she never did, so I guess she's having her turn now. She absolutely refused to go to her class (refused can be defined as kicking, screaming, bawling, shouting NO! NO! NO!, etc). Brian was teaching a Sunday School class, so I had to relieve him and take care of Spencer. I ended up dragging Sam (I'm only being partly literal there) along. She was in "time-out" in the back of Brian's class, while I tried to coral Spencer for awhile. He kept wanting to get down and play on the stairs in the corner (the class was on the stage, of all the unhelpful places to try to coral a 14-month-old). I finally evil-eyed Sammie and told her to "STAY!" while I took Spencer out to get his bottle ready. It doesn't sound as stressful as I felt, but I assure you, I had HAD it! I sat down in the kitchen and started my REAL cry. I kept thinking, "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this motherhood thing." I couldn't cry it all out, because I had to get back in the class and make sure Samantha was really staying in "time out." So, I grabbed a paper towel (now my nose is all chapped, shoulda grabbed a kleenex) and headed back to wrestle the two rowdies till Sunday School was over.
Next round, Brian took Spencer and I tried to get Samantha to go to her class again. No go. She screamed and cried and just about made me scream too. So, I hauled her to Relief Society with me. Lucky day, we had ALL the young women and primary workers joining us for Relief Society so the place was PACKED. I was playing the piano and there was not a single chair left for me once the lesson started, so Sam and I had to share the piano bench. The lesson was about being a valiant woman in the cause of Christ. The teacher made it clear she didn't want any of us to feel guilty, especially on Mother's Day. I did anyway. I sat there behind the piano and finished my cry, hoping my visiting teacher couldn't see me even though she was sitting right next to me.
I do love the idea of Mother's Day. And I really thought a lot about MY mother today, and how precious she is -- and my grandma, too. And Brian was very sweet and kind, and cooked dinner and cleaned up afterward, and helped Sammie make me a card, sort of. But sometimes, there are days where the mother just hasn't had enough sleep or something. Maybe I'm the only one?? I'm just thinking, maybe we'll not really count this as the REAL Mother's Day this year, and we'll try celebrating some other time instead??
Well, for all the rest of you out there, Happy Mothers Day! If you didn't have it go absolutely perfectly, you're in good company. If you did have perfection, I'll love seeing your pictures and hearing about your special day.
6 comments:
Sis,
You are so hillarious and SO much like me?? Who would've ever thought this could be so hard! At least you cry---I just swear and scream:( VERY BAD I know!! I had an OK day, but decided that Mother's Day shouldn't even be on a Sunday. THere's too much to do and dad's get off the hook, AGAIN! I did enjoy Sacracment though. THe kids were pretty good and when Maggie had had enough, Ben took both of them out. (After I told him too) Anyway, your Uncle Brad spoke and told about your Grandma! She was amazing--I can't believe how strong she was and to do it all her own! I knew instantly why you are SO amazing and strong. When you have a down day again, just think of her:)
I will call you this week, my life is so hectic. I think we should leave all the children who talk and walk, especially the ones who TALK and just meet at a hotel for some peace and quiet and just eat the whole time???
Have a good day.
I loved the post about Sammie--she is so darling and smart. Her and Mags could get into some serious trouble, I'm afraid:)
Sounds like you had a rough go round!! I was trying to help Brecken learn the mothers day song they were singing and she kept doing something naughty (don't remember what) so I said (in a not so nice voice) "Brecken you stop that right now!" Then she sang the song and the first line of the song was "Gentle words I hear you say..." Needless to say, I felt guilty on Mother's day as well. But other than that little blip of my day, it was ok. Sorry about Sammie not going to primary. That is TOUGH!!!
Oh my dear girl---You must be taking after your mother BIG TIME!! For some reason or other, I always used to bawl on Mother's Day---feeling like I just was NOT the mother the Lord had INTENDED for me to be!!
I remember almost every single Mother's Day--listening to those glorious talks about all those suberbly PERFECT mothers who NEVER RAISED THEIR VOICE, NEVER did this--ALWAYS did that---and I'd slink down in my seat and feel extremely GUILTY---like I just wasn't cut out to actually be CALLED a "Mother". And yet--now all 5 of you are all raised up and Grown----and you all still seem to LIKE me, so I guess I wasn't really so bad AFTER all!! So I say to you---Hang in there!!
Just keep pressing on, Babe---doing what you think is best--mothering the very best way you know how, and someday---maybe you'll be extremely BLESSED like ME!!
Lots of Love to you---from Your Mom (who thinks you're an absolutely FANTASTIC MOM!!) p.s. (I sure would like to have heard Brad's talk about my mom!! That would've been INTERESTING!)
A Sheri Dewism: "I sometimes wonder if judgement day is going to be a breeze compared to what we put ourselves, and others, through here on earth."
I like a comment from a bishopric member this year on Mother's day. He said, "When i was little, for my birthday my mom took me fishing. Then, we went to a bar, and I sat on the bar stool while she had her beer. I love my mother, she was a great woman." It's not the kids or the husbands that judge. Forget the guilt. You're doing awesome.
And, as for kids acting horribly on Mother's Day. I just think it is how it is. I like calling it "Mothering Sunday" (remember that from London?) Mother's day sounds like a holiday. That it ISN'T!!! "Mothering" is more like it. Its the day we can celebrate being a mother- complete with all the good and all the bad. We're mothers.
ha! sounds like too much fun. Maybe you could do some persuasive talking and see if the nursery could take Spencer a few months early or pawn him off to some young girl who loves babies or older woman who can't get enough baby-time. Then take that Sammie girl to class and sit with her until she gets used to it and sees how fun it is. That is so strange that she is acting like this. It doesn't seem like her at all... Good luck! Here's to looking forward to NEXT Mother's day when you're children will both be in nursery and primary and YOU can have some peace!!!!
I didn't have the best mother's day either. It started out fantastic, and then sorta went downhill from there. I ended up crying too. And it was about things I hadn't been upset by in ages. Oh well. What's funniest is you said "this one didn't count" because I was thinking the same thing out here - that maybe this wasn't a real mother's day, but we could celebrate it again later, next week perhaps? Oh well. Perks of being a woman, and a woman who cares. You're great Kamber.
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