The C-Section

Disclaimer: Not my normal post here... I may use a few womanly words in here, such as uterus or placenta. And this might get a little more "detailed" than some people like to read. (This disclaimer is mainly for my squeamish brothers, who will most likely stop reading here.)

So, this is the story of Natalie's birth, for those who care to know how it all happened...

I've mentioned a few different times that this birth was to be a scheduled Cesarean, and that's what it was. The main reason for the C-section was because of some complications I had after Spencer was born... the brief explanation is that after I delivered Spencer, there was a bit of placenta that was still in the womb. I had antibiotics for a few days, then a D&C (is that what they call it in the US, or is that a UK term? Can't remember which is which now??) to remove the material and make sure everything was okay inside me. Well, during the D&C, the tissue was quite infected and one of the instruments poked a hole in my uterus lining. Not good. So, while I was under anesthetics for the D&C, they ended up adding a laparoscopy to survey the damage and to make sure nothing else was punctured. Then they had to perform what I call a "mini-C-section" to stitch up the perforation, which was apparently large enough that they couldn't just leave it. (Thank goodness nothing else was damaged.)

Long story short, I woke up in a lot of pain, stayed in the hospital for a few days, and was advised that because of where the perforation was (way up high in the corner, where the muscle is thinner), I should have C-sections for any further births, because there was a chance that hole could rupture again during labor. Was that too gory to tell? That's the worst that it gets, I think.

Anyway, so all through this pregnancy, I was a bit concerned, just hoping everything healed properly, and that I'd be able to carry this baby full term, etc. As I got closer and closer to due date, I started getting quite anxious about the C-section. I had different friends ask me why I was doing a C-section, and well... as you've just read, it's not that easy to explain.

I also started wondering if it were really the right thing to do. My doctors read all my history, and agreed that a C-section was probably the safest bet. And then, they also advised me that if I were to go into labor on my own, and the labor proceeded rather quickly, there was a good chance I could skip the c-sec and just do a regular labor and birth. BUT, if that happened, there was still a chance that heavy contractions could re-rupture that perforation, so the wisest course was a C-section.

Natalie's due date was Oct 12, and the earliest our hospital would allow a scheduled C-section was at 39 weeks -- Oct 5. I kept thinking/hoping/sometimes fearing that I'd go into labor before then, since both my older kids were born 1 1/2 to 2 weeks early. I had contractions every day for 10 days with Natalie, but nothing regular; every time I started to feel like "this might be it," the contractions would stop and ... nothing. Sigh.

So, the day before the C-section, I visited my doctor one last time, just to see if perhaps I was headed toward labor and might be able to skip the surgery after all. No such luck... only dilated to a one -- barely, and no other "signs" of imminent labor. The doctor was really good with me, trying to help me decide whether I wanted to keep waiting for labor, or whether I wanted to go ahead with the planned C-section. He didn't try to convince me, one way or another, but talked about the pros and cons of each option rather neutrally, which I really appreciated. In the end, I decided to proceed with surgery, for various reasons. The main reason was because it felt like the safest solution, given my history. It was a tough choice, but I felt good about it, considering there was no way to look at my scar and see how it had healed, unless we did a C-section.

So, Brian and I went to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. on October 5th, for a 7 a.m. surgery. My thoughts on a C-section: well, I hope I can do a VBAC next time, if that says anything.... It was not my favorite "hour" of life. But one of the highlights was seeing Brian in scrubs (I think he may have missed a career as a dashing doctor.)

And, of course, the main highlight was hearing and seeing little Natalie as she was born. I didn't immediately get that "moment" where I felt a great surge of emotion about meeting my baby for the first time, because I was numb from the chest down, and I was freeeeeeeeezing from the chest up, and I was flat on my back with a dumb blue hairnet on, and there were 10+ hospital staff in the room with us. Trivial, I know, but those things kinda distracted from the "moment."

But I DID have a beautiful, powerful moment with Natalie once I was settled in my room and the nurse, Jennie, laid her in my arms for the first time. I love those memories of my new babies gazing up at me for the first time, and I will remember that look Natalie gave me, forever. Is there anything more amazing and wonderful than a newborn baby? I love, love, love being part of the miracle of life, and feeling the overwhelming love that just surges up inside me for each of my children as they come into our life here.

The good news about that perforation scar... The doctor was able to thoroughly examine it during the surgery, and said it had healed up really nicely and looked really healthy. I know, that means I probably could have handled labor without a C-section. But really, there was no way to know that without the surgery, so I'm okay with the fact that I went ahead with it. Does that make sense? I'm not really glad -- because who wants a major surgery? But I'm not feeling all sorry about my decision, either. Mainly, I'm just grateful that Natalie is here, and healthy, and I'm healthy and recovering more quickly than I anticipated. (No, I'm not going to "overdo it." Don't worry.)

Well, so, that's the story of Natalie's birth. It's kinda funny -- a few days before Natalie was born, I was thinking about writing down Samantha's birth story, since it happened before I started blogging. I might still blog about it, just because it was interesting (water broke on the Tube in London), and memorable (UK hospital and OB care), and so different from this one (midwives, "other" stitches, gourmet hospital food, etc), and I'd like to have it on here. Maybe some other day. For now, g'nite!