Afterthoughts

Wow! So many fun comments to read from so many people I love and miss. Thanks everyone, for checking in. I always wonder when I write a long "wordy" post if people are just going to be bored and skip to the pictures. Good to know some of you are interested in reading, too! :)

I just have a few more thoughts to share, while I've been "taking my emotional temperature"... I keep thinking of some more of the things I'm *NOT* doing, that are giving me a bit of a boost. Including...

-- I am NOT pregnant right now. In fact, Brian keeps commenting about how "up" I am and how surprised he is, since he hasn't seen me this way in a long time. Well, I was pregnant for a long time, then nursing for a long time. Those two things are very hard things for me. I'm still nursing part-time, but I'm feeling much more "normal" these days, more like myself again. That, coupled with more restful sleep and a little bit healthier body (not counting the 7-8 truffles I ate today, dumb Costco with its French fineries) ... well, it all just makes me feel happier. I write this partly for the pregnant ladies who may read along and say, "why don't I feel like that?!" And also, for the eventuality that I may in fact, one day, be pregnant again, and may need a reminder that it's hard work and it does make me feel not so "perky." ... But it's not permanent. Enough about that, I guess.

-- I also am not having anyone over to visit. In the 6 weeks that we've been in our place, y'all have seen more of its insides (online... scroll back if you missed "the tour") than almost everyone who lives within 1000 miles of me. I've had one official visitor -- my friend Debbie, who was my good, good friend in London and is someone with whom I feel comfortable sharing my mess (compliment to you, Debbie!) Other than that, my mess is my mess and I am much less stressed about it than I've ever let myself be in the past... because no one is seeing it but me and the little people who make it. Not even Brian, for 95% of the time (sad, but true).

Now, I'm not saying I don't want to make friends and eventually invite people over. No, that's important and something I do enjoy very much. I'm also not saying that I live like a complete slob since no one is watching. But ... I'm realizing that there is something relieving (if not relaxing) about letting myself be comfortable with the train set and markers on the living room floor, and dishes in the sink, and unfolded laundry in our bedroom -- for the entire day and sometimes all night. Ya know? When other people have to see it too (like our landlord did this a.m.), it kinda stresses me out. So, right now, I'm enjoying the "less stressful" side of having no one I know well enough to come on over.

-- This next one is well... it's probably not going to last, and I don't want it to last, but it's been nice for a change of pace. I'll just say it then. One thing I've enjoyed this last while is not having a calling at church. I got released from serving with the primary children a few weeks before we left Idaho (middle of February, I think?) So, I've been "unemployed" in the church for nearly three months now. I'm not saying I don't want to be involved and serve in the church. But I am appreciative of a little break. I'm glad to go to Sunday School and Relief Society meetings and just concentrate on being "nourished" for awhile here. That said, I don't thing I'd be nearly so grateful for this time if I hadn't also been very involved in serving in the church, and if I didn't plan and hope to serve again soon. I guess I'm just seeing this as a little "feed myself, spiritually" time for me. And I'm enjoying the reprieve/renewal. And, while I'm talking about it, I might as well say I'd like to lobby for a piano calling, please. Wouldn't that be nice? :)

-- I also have to add, I'm not seeing nearly enough of Brian. That's not part of my "happy" list at all, but it's the cold, hard truth. He is soooo very busy. For those of you who followed this blog when we were in London, you know he worked very hard there, right? Well, this is harder, longer, more weekend work and less catch-up time. It's a really rough stretch for him, and I don't know how to make it better for him. But one thing I'm doing (that will fit in with my list, I guess?) is... I'm not counting the hours he isn't sleeping. I used to do that; in London, I'd make a weekly list of his hours of sleep -- 4 hrs on Mon, 5.5 hrs Tues, 3.5 hrs Weds. Then, at the end of the week I'd total it up and say, only 27 hrs, or whatever... if he were sleeping 8 hrs a night, he should be sleeping 56 hrs per week.

Well.

I'm NOT doing that anymore. It was not a good thing for him, or for me. So, at least I feel I'm doing better at not focusing on that nasty little detail. That's a good thing, right??

So, I think those are all my little "extras" I wanted to include after reading everyone's comments, and rereading my bits from earlier. Yep. Life is good, and I'm trying hard to let myself enjoy it. And, I'm hoping after this next deal Brian will have more time to enjoy it with me, and our kidses.