Neighbors

We've been in our house for a month and a half now. Time to write about our neighbors, though I'm not sure there's all that much to write, really. As you know, our house is a duplex, you probably remember from "the tour," right? That means, we have neighbors right through the wall on one side.

At first it kind of bothered me. I woke up at 6:30 a.m. every day, listening to someone next door creeping down their stairs and out the door to work. And at bed time I was super self conscious, knowing they could hear me raising a motherly voice at my less-than-cooperative children on those not-so-easy single-mom nights. I guess I'm now used to all that, and I'm less self-conscious about my "pitch" after overhearing a doozy of an argument through their bedroom wall one night.

Anyway, one of our first afternoons in our new place, Samantha looked out the back window and saw a little girl getting on a two-wheeled bike, and an older man putting a toddler in a stroller. Sammie was running for the coat closet, ready to grab her jacket and go meet them. I held her back, because the little "party" was obviously off to somewhere. I told her we'd wait a few days and then probably meet them.

Next encounter, I was pushing the kids in the trusty sit-n-stand, and we were just getting back from CVS when I noticed our neighbor was getting into his car -- the same older gentleman. I hurried my pace, so I could ask him about the garbage cans (two cans, which was ours, when was garbage day, etc.) I waved at him, just as he was closing his car door. He looked at me, waved back, and sat waiting to back up his car. I motioned toward the garbage cans and shrugged, as if to ask "can you tell me what the garbage situation is??" and he just looked at me, didn't roll down the window or anything. I gestured again, and he waved briefly and drove away. Okay. Maybe the gesturing about the garbage was the wrong tack??

This was weeks ago. We still haven't really met. But the kids have, of course. I mean, we share a back yard. It was inevitable, right? Turns out the family is from China, and the grandparents are living with the family. The older man in the car? he's the grandpa, speaks no English other than "thank you" and "cookie," as far as I can tell. (Guess that explains why he wasn't too eager to explain about the garbage cans?) The girl is Kathrine and she's 7. The toddler is Justin, he's 2.

Kathrine and Samantha hit it off. They started playing together in the afternoons after Kathrine gets home from school. At first, it seemed like it was just the two of them-- and Spencer on the side, doing his own thing. And then, after a few days, I noticed some other little girls would join them. Now, they're over here fairly often -- at least two or three days a week, if it's not rainy.

Usually, I sit in our living room with the patio doors open to the back deck while they play. I listen to them, and occasionally go out to make sure they're doing okay. They play a lot of hide-and-seek, a tag game called "witchy," and sometimes pretend to "plant a garden" or "bake a cake" out of leaves and twigs from around the yard. It's been fun to see Samantha light up when she's with her new friends.

Only, there's the down side... Samantha is the youngest. And she's the new kid. And she's not allowed to leave our yard (mean mom!). So, she sometimes gets the raw end of the neighborhood friends deal, especially when the other girls run back and forth between several houses that are right next to ours. But she puts up with it okay.

Sometimes the older girls don't want her to play, or she's just a little young for their games (jumping rope is a tricky one for her). So, she's had her feelings hurt a few different times. That's ROUGH for a mom to watch. But I gotta hand it to Samantha --- she's really resilient! If some older kids had told me I couldn't play when I was little, I'm sure I wouldn't have shown my face for weeks. Not Sammie; it's happened a few different times. Each time, she comes inside, has a little cry, changes her clothes, tells me "it's okay, I'm just the new girl, and they're not used to me." And she's off again, laughing and playing with them like nothing happened! Wow. Is she really mine?? ;)

I took some pictures of the kids playing in the back yard a few weeks ago. Can you pick out Samantha? heeheh...

Kinda funny --Sammie's the only pasty white girl from Idaho. All the other girls are Asian (mostly Japanese, some Chinese). I find it interesting to watch them play and I've learned a bit about their cultures from the way they play together.

On this day, I counted nine little dark-haired girls, and Samantha...

Okay, so I guess I'm finally getting to the real reason for this post...

See, I didn't grow up with neighbor kids. It was just my brothers and me, and our two cousins who lived next door. Other than that, we were on a lane with lots of farms and lots of older people. Frankly, I'm still not sure how to handle the whole "neighbors" thing. I feel extremely protective and nervous about having my babies out there interacting with the other kids on the block. Is that normal??

I mean, I watch these little girls traipsing back and forth up and down our road, playing games and wandering back and forth together and I wonder, do all their mothers know each other? Are they comfortable letting their daughters go into each others' houses? Am I just the overprotective small-town mother who wants to keep an "ear" on every game they play? I mean, none of their mothers knows me -- does that matter?

I'm just not sure what I think about this whole "neighbors" business. But my instinct, for now, is to go ahead and be the mean mom who doesn't let my kids leave the yard. And go ahead and be the mom who is always within ear shot and often "checking in" with my babies. Am I right?

Oh, I'm sure I have more to say on this subject, but writing about my motherly responsibilities reminds me that my kids are downstairs, plugged into "Super Why" on Netflix while I blog. Better get back to mothering for now. But here's my introduction to our neighbors. Stay tuned...