Sleep will hopefully come sometime soon, but I've been restless tonight. (2 a.m. now.)
When I went to the doctor last Wednesday, he was very pleased with my progress and told me things looked VERY good for a smooth delivery, sometime soon. In fact, he told me he'd probably see me that night in the hospital... or this weekend.
Nope.
It's felt like a verrrrry looooong time since that appointment (really? only five days has passed??), and still no baby. But on Friday night, I had a false alarm, thinking my water was leaking (because that HAS happened to me before, and this felt very similar). Brian and I went to the hospital for an hour or two while his parents stayed with our kids. No leaky water detected there, and no stable contractions to keep me there. The baby's head is down, but not at all engaged. The nurse said if the baby would drop, the water is in a position that it would most definitely break and labor would begin. But... well, I'm not sure how to get the baby to drop. Any ideas??
I've tried walking (as much as I can take, with my hip "locked" out, and my bad veins), moving around on an exercise ball, squats and yoga "butterflies," pineapple, spicy curry, more walking, some smooching, etc., mopping the kitchen floor on hands and knees, never crossing my legs, I even bought an eggplant because I heard something about eggplant parm working magic??... It starts to sound ridiculous, doesn't it? I think that's why I wanted to write about it -- for later laughs, I guess. I know this stage of pregnancy and remember well the irrational NEED to have this baby removed as SOOOOON as possible! It's like something snaps and my mind is determined that I can be pregnant NO MORE!
For a non-pregnant person, it's almost comical to see the impatience of it all, I know -- I've been non-pregnant a lot, and wondered why "she" can't just settle down and wait and "she's" not even to due date yet, etc. But now, being the pregnant lady, no amount of reasoning seems to appeal to the unsettled side of me that just thinks I might explode if I continue to share my body with a person who is sooo ready to be born already! Besides, I don't even KNOW if it's a boy or girl in there!! And it's about to drive me crazy! ( I confess to crying over this briefly as I mopped the kitchen floor the other day. And I should probably also confess to being not-so-nice to Brian about wanting a surprise, and then having to apologize for my pouty behavior.)
Ah, I know what any rational person will tell me... I can't be pregnant forever, this will only last a little while longer, if it's really our "last" then it's probably worth savoring the "last" of the "last" moments, etc. In my own rational moments, I tell myself those same things. :) I also tell myself that it's helpful to at least TRY sleeping in the middle of the night -- especially when I DON'T have a newborn yet, right??
So, off I go to continue waiting this out. Let's pray for a baby this week, okay? So I can maybe not have to have another C-section. :) Wish me luck!!
3 comments:
Two a.m. writings?? That's what you used to do when you were a teenager, and when you were in college, and when you were working before you were married. Remember??
I feel for ya, Babe! I wish I could do something to help things move along a bit faster, but I have no idea what to do, and no suggestions as to what YOU could be doing. I think you oughta plan something really BIG that you want to be sure and get done before the baby comes, and maybe "it'll" decide to just come and wreck your big plans!!
Maybe you just oughta go ahead and set a date for the C-section and give up hope of having a normal delivery, and maybe that little baby will decide to just hurry and come and 'jump the gun'!
As I said--I really don't know WHAT can be done, but I'm glad to see that you are feeling pretty good these days and actually (in spite of what you may say)--actually, you're keeping a really good attitude! I'm proud of you, Kam, for all you do, and my prayers are certainly being said for your desires to be granted. I love you and look forward to holding and cuddling this new little doll whenever "it" gets here!! Love, Mom
I love this post! You are so comical Kamber! Hang in there. I feel like we're in the same boat . . . oh wait, we are. Except that I should be at least couple of weeks behind you and now my doctor is telling me any day now. I'm feeling ready to not be pregnant anymore but also very scared to have four! I hope yours comes before mine and I can't wait to read all about him or her! Hang in there and get some sleep!!!
I love that I just saw this post tonight. To know that all your waiting is over and you are just enjoying your new little sweetheart. I totally know the "irrational crazy" that comes out at the end of pregnancy and I'm glad you can be done with that. Love you Kamber! I love how you write so openly and honestly and can say things that I don't know how to put into words and you say them so eloquently.
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