So, I confess, life with two kids has been quite an adjustment for me so far. I know I was spoiled to have so many people to help for the first month and a half. But I'm concluding that I probably NEEDED that extra help, just to survive! :)
Our current schedule (for journal purposes) goes something like this... Spencer wakes up between 6 and 7 a.m. for that first meal of the day. I cuddle him in bed but don't really go back to sleep very good. Then between 7:30 and 8, Sammie comes a knockin' and crawls into bed with us for about two minutes before insisting that we all get up. Spencer stays asleep until 9 or 10, while Sammie and I get Brian off to work, eat breakfast, read books, and sometimes get dressed. When Spencer wakes up, he eats, then looks around for an hour before getting really cranky and eventually going back to sleep. Once he's back asleep, Sammie and I get lunch and I get her to lay down for a nap by 2ish. Then Spencer's up again and he eats, looks around for a bit, and heads back to sleep by 3:30 or so. If I'm lucky (and showered, and don't have other stuff that MUST get done while both children are alseep), I go to sleep with Spencer for an hour until Samantha is up at 4:30 or 5pm.
The day dwindles quickly from there. Samantha and I read more books, play together a bit, and then get dinner going. As soon as I start dinner -- no matter what time or how simple -- Spencer must smell it coming, and wakes up to eat. I stop making dinner, feed him, then he fusses while I continue making dinner. He usually escalates to a nice friendly wail just as I sit at the table. This means I either hold him while I eat (and he gets quiet); or we all eat in a frantic state (while listening to the screaming); or I feed him some more while Brian (if he's home) and Sammie eat; or Brian (if he's home) holds him and he squirms and squawks (but not as loudly) while I wolf down a few bites, then feed him again. I usually choose the last option, if possible. Although, I'm finding the more we adjust, the more we're getting immune to the fussing and it's easier to just leave him in the swing and let him cry while we eat. (Is that bad?)
After dinner, Sammie gets ready for bed and goes down between 8 and 8:30. Then we start our unpredictable evening with Spencer. Sometimes it's 9:30 or 10pm, sometimes it's more like 12:30 or 1a.m. The feeding has gotten a little more regulated, but still he wants more than I can give by nighttime and ends up getting a bottle somewhere in there. This doesn't help with a little constipation problem he's had the last three weeks (too much info?). Anyway, if Spencer drops off early, Brian and I seem to stay up to get things done. If Spencer doesn't drop off early, well, I cuddle and hold and feed him, and work with him until he gets too fed up and finally sleeps. He sometimes gets really worked up, and we haven't figured out the "cry it out" method or anything that really works, other than me holding him. hmm... So, basically, I get to bed around midnight or 1a.m. (Brian usually a bit later). Then Spencer wakes up once in the night before we start over at 6 or 7a.m.
At least there's a more predictable pattern these days??
The tricky part is if I decide it's necessary to leave the house. Getting ready to go ANYWHERE takes at LEAST an hour and a half, usually more like TWO hours. Even just going donw the street to visit a friend or see the doctor, I have to start the process of leaving WAY in advance. Take yesterday for example... Spencer had his immunizations at the doctor down the street, appt time 12:20pm. I decided we could see Joyce and her Sammy for a bit before the appointment, since she lives right by the doctor's office. Well, I started getting us ready to go out the door, aiming to leave by 11 a.m., have a leisurely walk to Joyce's, stopping to get a few things at Boots Pharmacy on the way. What actually happened: at 12:15 Spencer finished eating one more time, then I frantically threw the kids in the car (shhh, don't tell Brian), drove to Joyce's, parked in her drive way and left Sammie with her while Spencer and I went to the doctor.
That kind of routine is typical these days. I have to face the fact that my punctuality is no longer of any importance, even if people raise their eyebrows when I'm late to church and supposed to be playing the organ. It DOESN'T matter! I have TWO KIDS! Other mothers of more than one are generally sympathetic. And the rest will just have to try to put up with things as they are, I guess?
I write all this as an explanation of why I have not been blogging recently. Instead of blogging, we're just continuing to adjust around here. Not too bad, actually. Every day gets a little easier, I hope!
4 comments:
Oh Kamber, I'm sorry you're having a struggle. I think that each new baby is an adjustment, trying to figure out a new schedule for your family that includes a baby's sometimes crazy routine. It's a challenge, but it does get easier. Somehow you're blessed to be able to get more accomplished than you thought you could. I bet w/ the house hunting on top of everything you are overwhelmed. Hang in there! Love you!
Ha! I love this Kamber. It was fascinating to read it all and remember just 21 months ago when I was in your same spot. I felt like adjusting to two kids was so overwhelming and that it literally took me a good 6-8 months to actually feel somewhat normal again. It doesn't make me look forward to having #3 but I am sure I will anyway... Good luck and ALL my sympathy is with you because I have definitely been there!
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one that had a hard time adjusting to two kids. Everyone said three was hard, but I think EVERY kid is a major adjustment. Blaine is freaking out about 4 so I guess what I'm saying is just stop now! Okay, no, just hang in there. Two was miserable but then again we LOVED our two kids after we all adjusted. Brandon hated Brittany, and that was hard, but by the time she was a little older he loved her. And, now they are best friends. Its also hard to adjust when your tired, so beg someone to take your kids for a bit so you can nap!
Welcome to Motherhood, My Dear! Things really DO get better, and I'm sure that, when you're back here in the States, you'll find life lots less complicated.
After being with you there in your little setting, your dad and I mentioned several times how inconvenient it is for you to DO things once you're out of the house. You're completely USED to it, by now, but you're gonna really LIKE being able to hop in a car and go everywhere you want to, rather than the way you have it now.
For the most part, you have to WALK or take the Tube everywhere you go, rather than drive---due to no available Parking anywhere---so that keeps life a whole lot more complicated for you.
Of course, I certainly do realize that if you could just get some good SLEEP, life would feel lots less complicated, too, !! And that will come with time. But keep doing what you do, Babe. You're GREAT!! Love, Mom
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